Tag Archives: self care

Three Things Thursday: Is it really Thursday edition

It is Thursday, right? I’ve been off a day all week. Anyway, I think I have the right day, so here goes.

  1. Money is the worst, y’all. (I’ve started my taxes for 2017.) Money is also the greatest (I’m going to Ireland/Spain in <1 month!). Sigh. Money.

  2. My child, the adorable and sassy AF Alvie Bean, has a very special gift. He is able to find the smallest puddle of water in every outdoor space and fall into it, drenching himself in situations when it should be impossible.

  3. Book stuff is hard, yo. I sat down with the Beer Guy last night and brainstormed my/our plans for the next three years. I’ve got so much ambition, but not as much time as I’d personally prefer. I’m going to have to be extremely disciplined about time to ensure I fit in the day job, the writing, the editing, as well as self-care and exercise. I think it’s doable, if ambitious, and can lead to a future where I can maybe *fingers crossed* eliminate one of those things (psst…the one that takes the most amount of time…).

Monthly Goals – January 2018

I have some decent goals set for the year (see yesterday’s post). In order to meet those goals, as well as the other things that I want to achieve in the next 3 months/1 year/3 years/5 years, I need to be on task and accountable.

I spent a great deal of time with my #passionplanner yesterday, doing brainstorming and determining which of each of my 3 month/1 year/3 year/5 year goals is the most important for each of those time periods and then figuring out how to be successful at that one goalTheoretically, that success will help inform my success at everything else.

I have a number of things I’d like to accomplish over the next three months, but the very most important bit is getting to a place of health. I know myself, although apparently I’m more frenemies with me than I ought to be, and I know that the healthiest I’ve ever been – both physically and mentally – was when I was averaging a minimum of one hour of exercise a day. This was also a period of time when I was only working part time (and only one job), wasn’t writing regularly, and didn’t have a kid. I was going to grad school, but that wasn’t nearly as time consuming as parenting/writing/free-lancing/and actually wanting to spend time with my partner.

I’ve decided to pick a different word each month of the year to encompass what I need from the month to achieve my top priority goal. So, for January, that word is:

MOVEMENT

This doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to be running 20-30 miles/week starting today. (Mostly because I’m trying to be sensible and I have a book deadline.) It’s a reminder to myself to keep going forward. Whether that’s physically (and it needs to be), or with the other actions that inform my health and well-being, I need to keep going.

 

I’ve changed my computer and phone wallpaper to a rotation of inspirational quotes, because I am awesome like that. And if you see me or hear me being self-destructive, I give you permission to chastise me severely.

Happy January, readers! I hope you reach all your goals this month and beyond.

Do you have a word/words that you try to live up to for a year? 

2018: Me First

I’ve done a lot in the last 2.5 years. I’ve published three books, gotten my freelance business off the ground, started an LLC with my partner-in-all-things, moved twice, divorced (once), started a new relationship, and seen my kid through some thoroughly hellish ups and downs. I’ve traveled to Iceland and Mexico (as well as some domestic trips). I’ve lost a job and started a new one.

There is, however, one very important thing that I didn’t do.

I didn’t take care of myself.

For some reason, everyone and everything else came first. I just couldn’t find the time to take care of me, and later I couldn’t find a reason.

I’ve been doing a lot of patchwork to try to keep myself afloat and trying really hard to fake it ’til I make it.

Everything’s Fine!

I told myself that as long as I was meeting all my work deadlines (for all 3 jobs), I was doing okay. The fact that I wasn’t eating or sleeping or exercising or feeling good about anything ever would correct itself in time.

NARRATOR VOICE: “It did not, in fact, correct itself.”

I found myself, by the end of the year, in a situation where I couldn’t take one more thing. So, of course, that’s when at least one more thing happened. Things were rough with my kid, and then I fucked up my shoulder, and those two things together made me just. stop. functioning.

It got to the point where my situation was untenable, but I was so far off-course, I didn’t know how to self-correct. So, after months of innumerable calls to millions (possible slight exaggeration) of therapists, and after spending most of a day crying, I got three phone calls in two days for people who finally had room for me!

If only it were that easy. And that cheap.

I had my first appointment Thursday, and it was hard. He said a lot of things that were absolutely true and that I absolutely did not want to hear.

I’m not quite to the sharing place yet, so I’m gonna be pretty vague about what those things were, but although it was hard AF, it was important. The bottom line is that I have a lot of work to do. This work is going to have to be first and foremost in everything I do for the next year. And don’t worry! You can come along for the ride!

I have several goals for this year, some big and some small. But first and foremost, is one (not-so-) simple goal.

Me First

18 Goals for 2018

  1. Adhere to all therapeutic interventions. This means do my physical therapy exercises as instructed and as often as instructed. This means that if medication is prescribed, I will take said medication, as instructed, for as long as instructed, and I will not stop taking said medication without the go-ahead from the prescribing physician.
  2. Write four books. (Tiny goal!)
  3. Make a profit in my writing/freelancing business
  4. Moisturize a lot more often
  5. Walk/run the four quarter marathons I signed up for.
  6. Go to Ireland and Spain and have a really good time.
  7. Find a better after school care for Alvie when he starts 1st grade
  8. Belgium, hopefully
  9. Take care of my body by eating regular, healthy meals, drinking plenty of water, sleeping an adequate amount each night, and moving it about on the regular
  10. Take more pictures with me and other people.
  11. Learn to read for pleasure again
  12. Really work hard at meditation
  13. VITAMINS
  14. Work on my language learning
  15. Hug the Bean more. Pick him up, way, way less.
  16. Buy clothes that fit and get rid of things (clothes, etc.) in my life that don’t make me feel good.
  17. Get my black boots repaired.
  18. Take time, every day, to appreciate the good things in my life.

Happy 2018, blog readers! 

Remember:

Three Things Thursday – Themeless Edition

  1. This has been a hard week towards the end of a hard month, towards the end of a hard quarter, at the end of a hard year. I’m so, so glad it’s solstice and we can start welcoming back the sun. Between stress, and injury, and disappointments, the lack of sunlight is hitting me harder than usual this year.
  2. The Cardinal Gate is on sale for the rest of the year for $0.99. It’s a perfect gateway book into the world of Eleanor Morgan (see what I did there?). It’s on sale at Amazon, Barnes & Noble (Nook), iBooks, and Kobo!
  3. I have some big, giant plans for 2018. HYUGE. I’ll be blogging about those a little more over the next week, but things are gonna be epic in 2018. (If, by epic, you mean that I have extreme goals like “eat food on the regular” and “maybe don’t get all your water intake strained through coffee beans” and “it doesn’t matter how many memes are out there, wine isn’t really a serving of fruit.”)

    This is apparently *GASP* not true.

     

2018 – The Year of #mefirst

Gotta Have Goals (November 2017)

Yeah, maybe it’s the middle of November almost, but bite me. The last two weeks have been wicked hard. The stress of being mid-divorce and facing unemployment have nothing on the stress of watching your child suffer* and not be able to help.

So, I’m a little behind on a lot of things. I have book reviews to write/publish for Mel Sterling as well as for Lit Buzz and a few others.

I am so fucking far behind on NaNoWriMo, which is unfortunate – not because I particularly care about winning (although this is the first year I didn’t buy my winner’s shirt in advance, and that’s probably why I’m not doing well), but because I do care about finishing Eleanor #4 and getting the beta-reading and editing process moving.

I am, fortunately, not behind on my editing projects.

I am super far behind on sleep, and as such have just been randomly falling asleep lately.

BUT – I have goals for this month (and a brief report on how I did in October).

 

October Goals

  1. I signed up for a thanksgiving 5K. My goal – to finish it without hating myself, whatever that means for me that day. – Ummm – I don’t even know why this was an October goal. Thanksgiving is totally this month.
  2. I need to be mostly done with Eleanor book 4 by the end of the month. – Oops. Not even close. Not even half.
  3. Stay on top of book marketing and don’t back out because of “hard” or “fear.” – Not bad for a newbie!
  4. Find a way to forgive everyone who made me angry cry today due to the colossal fuck-up that happened with my Bean’s after-school care situation. Note: this might be the hardest. Note 2: I think everything’s figured out. It was only two hours of Wednesday panic on my part. – This is so in that past. SUCCESS!
  5. Continue to eat 3x/day and get to bed by 11 on work nights. Work on popping out of bed a little faster in the morning. Meditate (with the bean). Moisturize. Self-care. – Eating = SUCCESS! Bed time = FAIL! Meditation & Moisturize & Self-Care = FAIL!

So – not that great.

November Goals

  1. Hit 90K words on Eleanor 4
  2. Finish all editing projects on time
  3. Find one new editing client
  4. Move 30 minutes every day
  5. Find a way to be present and let go of stress before I have a nervous breakdown

 

*Bean is okay. We are all okay. But sometimes life is hard, yo.