Category Archives: Zen AF

Gotta Have Goals (November 2017)

Yeah, maybe it’s the middle of November almost, but bite me. The last two weeks have been wicked hard. The stress of being mid-divorce and facing unemployment have nothing on the stress of watching your child suffer* and not be able to help.

So, I’m a little behind on a lot of things. I have book reviews to write/publish for Mel Sterling as well as for Lit Buzz and a few others.

I am so fucking far behind on NaNoWriMo, which is unfortunate – not because I particularly care about winning (although this is the first year I didn’t buy my winner’s shirt in advance, and that’s probably why I’m not doing well), but because I do care about finishing Eleanor #4 and getting the beta-reading and editing process moving.

I am, fortunately, not behind on my editing projects.

I am super far behind on sleep, and as such have just been randomly falling asleep lately.

BUT – I have goals for this month (and a brief report on how I did in October).

 

October Goals

  1. I signed up for a thanksgiving 5K. My goal – to finish it without hating myself, whatever that means for me that day. – Ummm – I don’t even know why this was an October goal. Thanksgiving is totally this month.
  2. I need to be mostly done with Eleanor book 4 by the end of the month. – Oops. Not even close. Not even half.
  3. Stay on top of book marketing and don’t back out because of “hard” or “fear.” – Not bad for a newbie!
  4. Find a way to forgive everyone who made me angry cry today due to the colossal fuck-up that happened with my Bean’s after-school care situation. Note: this might be the hardest. Note 2: I think everything’s figured out. It was only two hours of Wednesday panic on my part. – This is so in that past. SUCCESS!
  5. Continue to eat 3x/day and get to bed by 11 on work nights. Work on popping out of bed a little faster in the morning. Meditate (with the bean). Moisturize. Self-care. – Eating = SUCCESS! Bed time = FAIL! Meditation & Moisturize & Self-Care = FAIL!

So – not that great.

November Goals

  1. Hit 90K words on Eleanor 4
  2. Finish all editing projects on time
  3. Find one new editing client
  4. Move 30 minutes every day
  5. Find a way to be present and let go of stress before I have a nervous breakdown

 

*Bean is okay. We are all okay. But sometimes life is hard, yo.

Meh Monday 

The last seven days have been a rollercoaster. The ups – The Ruby Blade has finally come out! – and downs – so much anxiety I can hardly stand it and a fuckton of stuff that I can’t talk about now (maybe someday) – have left me in a place that’s difficult to people from. 

Three books in eight months is not bad at all.


Now is when I cancel plans with vague excuses (not feeling well, etc) to avoid the additional stress of having to interact with other human beings. There are very few people with whom I enjoy spending any sort of time when I feel like this. Very few might actually be one people. 

I’m going to try to pull my life back together this week. For me that means finishing two major editing projects, writing 15k words on Book 4, and eating regularly. 

In the meantime, here’s a picture of my sweet boy dressed as Jean-Luc Picard. 

He’s wearing light saber shoes and Darth Vader pants and his star fleet shirt is hiding a Superman t-shirt. #nerd

Gotta Have Goals (October 2017)

At the beginning of September, I set 19 goals for myself, and I thought it’d do more towards accountability if I actually shared how that went. (Plus, then, NEW GOALS!)

September Report

  1. Pick my son up from his very last day of preschool ever. Take a picture. Don’t cry. (9/1) – SUCCESS! I didn’t even cry
  2. Finish all my last pre-editor edits on The Ruby Blade and get that sucker to my editor. (9/2) – SUCCESS! I totally cried here, though
  3. Drink champagne. (9/2) – SUCCESS! (No tears)
  4. Make an apple pie with the Bean, because he wants to make one for the beer guy’s parents who are visiting. (9/3) – SUCCESS! Kinda, we made a crisp instead
  5. Drop my boy off at his first day of Kindergarten. Take pictures. Don’t cry. (9/5) – SUCCESS! More or less. I maybe got some dust in my eyes. It was really smoky from the fires.
  6. Edit a book for a new client (early Sept) – SUCCESS! (And it is SO GOOD!)
  7. Get my skin checked to make sure there’s no suspicious activity (9/11) – SUCCESS! All is well with my soul skin
  8. Meet with new personal trainer and get new workout schedule set up (9/12) – half SUCCESS! I met with the trainer, but have not yet gotten the schedule set up. 
  9. Write 45K words on Eleanor #4 (sekrit goal is 60K – which is 15K/week and my current average, but see all busy-ness) – big ol’ fail…I’m waaaay behind on my ambitious goal, not to mention the sekrit goal, but still on track to finish by 11/30.
  10. Write 2 chapters on my Raj novella – oops. Totally did not do this. 
  11. Survive the beer guy’s 2.5 week trip to Belgium (I mean, obviously, I’ll survive, but, you know…) – SUCCESS! I ate and slept and only broke the house a tiny bit! 
  12. Keep on top of my day job stuff – SUCCESS!
  13. Write outlines for the first three books in my new series coming out about this time next year and conspire with my cover artist – SUCCESS! I have a long synopsis for the first book and shorter ones for books 2 & 3, have started conspiring with my cover artist, and am working on a marketing plan.
  14. Turn around my article edits SUPAH FAST – SUCCESS! 
  15. Write 4 chapters on SUPER SEKRIT PROJECT – oops. Totally forgot about this.
  16. Actually sleep? I guess? – SUCCESS! I averaged more than 6.5 hours/night in September. 
  17. Start meditating in the mornings again, which means – oops. nope.
  18. Start getting up at 5:30 am again, which means – hahaha. nope. (I am getting up regularly at 6 now, though)
  19. In bed & asleep by 10:45 on school nights – SUCCESS! 
  20. I really want a 20th goal, but couldn’t think of one…

Honestly not bad at all. So much successing. The places where I didn’t completely succeed, though, were all things for which I had not external motivator. Writing my own words with no editor deadline (see sekrit project, Eleanor #4, Raj’s chapters), meditation, getting up earlier, getting the workout schedule down with the new trainer (although, to be fair, I’m waiting for her to get back to me at this point).

I’m not going to set 20 goals in October, but I have five big ones. I’m not going to include things that I know I’ll get done, like finishing up the book I’m currently editing or “have a good time in Mexico.” Instead, these are actual things that I have to work at.

  1. I signed up for a thanksgiving 5K. My goal – to finish it without hating myself, whatever that means for me that day.
  2. I need to be mostly done with Eleanor book 4 by the end of the month.
  3. Stay on top of book marketing and don’t back out because of “hard” or “fear.”
  4. Find a way to forgive everyone who made me angry cry today due to the colossal fuck-up that happened with my Bean’s after-school care situation. Note: this might be the hardest. Note 2: I think everything’s figured out. It was only two hours of Wednesday panic on my part.
  5. Continue to eat 3x/day and get to bed by 11 on work nights. Work on popping out of bed a little faster in the morning. Meditate (with the bean). Moisturize. Self-care.

 

 

Monday Brain Dump

It’s been a ridiculous week. I have a lot of thoughts in my head. I’m not gonna share all of them, but I’ve got some stuff for you.

You all know my kiddo was in the ER for a head injury Wednesday. We went for a followup visit Saturday and he is AOK – just needs to try to take it easy for a few more days. Limited screen time (I think, all told, we’ve had <45 minutes total for the whole Friday-Monday morning time), limited running, zero falling down and whacking his head any more.

Peak bruising was Saturday morning…it’s starting to fade to yellow, although it’s still spreading.

Friday, I took the Beer Guy to the airport for his 2.5 week trip to Belgium. I already miss him like crazy. (As does the Bean who was super disappointed that the Beer Guy didn’t make it home for waffles and bacon Sunday morning…”Mom, he loves waffles and bacon. Why didn’t he come back for breakfast? It’s because you didn’t buy enough bacon for everyone, isn’t it?” Yep…totes my fault on that one, kid.) So when I picked Bean up from kindergarten on Friday, I said I’d take him anywhere he wanted to go for dinner.

AB: “Oooh – Pizza Fino is good!”

Me: “Okay, let’s go there.”

AB: “But Atomic is even better. Can we go there? The Beer Guy will be so jealous because he loves it and we can take a picture and send it to him and he will miss us.”

Me: “Interesting motivation, but sure. Let’s go there.”

As we approach Atomic Pizza, Bean says, “Mom. I don’t really want the Beer Guy to be jealous. Let’s go to Lucky Lab. He won’t be sad that he missed that.”

Truer words, kids…

Lucky Lab dinner date. I don’t really like that place, either, but I’d said he could pick.

Saturday late afternoon/evening we got to have a play date. Well, Bean played with his BFF (and eventual roommate – he’s planning on moving into their basement when he graduates from high school) and I got to hang with my good friends and former neighbors who were gracious enough to have a kid the exact right age for play dates.

Yesterday was a mellow day. Bean was wiped out and needed a break (and I needed to finish up my editing project for a client so that I’d be ready to start edits on The Ruby Blade when it comes back this week). We putzed around the house, did lego projects, messed with the kitten, and had a pretty quiet (activity wise, definitely not volume wise) day.

We kept watching the sky for rain, and it came in fits and starts, but not quite what I was hoping.

I stayed up too late Saturday and Sunday (Friday, I was asleep on the couch by 9, dragged myself to bed about 10, and then woke up at 1:30 am and was awake for 2.5 hours…dammit.) but still don’t feel too exhausted.

I got the final cover for The Ruby Blade and will be doing an exclusive cover reveal preview for all newsletter subscribers in a couple weeks – so if you want to see before everyone else, sign up for the newsletter (check the sidebar).

tiny sneak peek

This week is all about writing and editing and reading (and work, of course) for me. I have a milestone on book 4 I really want to hit. I also want to – now that I’m starting to feel a little better physically – start moving again on the regular.

But mostly, I want to snuggle my Bean up tonight and tomorrow night before he heads back to his dad’s for 5 days.

Rainy Days and Mondays…

Family Friday

Tonight, my baby (I AM NOT A BABY) comes home for five nights in a row. That’s never enough – I hate that Wednesday morning I’ll drop him off at kindergarten and won’t see him again until the following Monday after school – but I love my long stretches with my boy. In a month, we’re switching the schedule to eliminate the mid-week transition and I’ll get him for week-long stretches at a time (of course, this also means he’ll be gone for week-long stretches at a time, which is a major bummer…sigh). I would give almost anything to have him more. The sticky, cotton-candy kisses I got last night at back-to-school night are everything.

 

My other local family, the beer guy, is on his way to Belgium, which is his very favorite country, right now. He told me he’s eventually coming back, although for some reason, I had the return date wrong in my head (and on my calendar), and even though he kept correcting me, I still couldn’t remember the right date. I think I finally have it now, which means I’ll show up to the airport on the right day to pick him up and not leave him stranded for 24 hours. One of my favorite things to do when he’s traveling is to sky-stalk him with the Flight Aware app. He’s currently (as of this very second) flying over the flyover state of Nebraska. (Sorry, Nebraskans – but I’m from the flyover state of South Dakota…it’s just how it goes.)

One of my biggest challenges when I’m sans beer guy is to remember to eat and sleep. Yes, I know that sounds dumb, but it’s my biggest challenge. So I’m putting it out here that I will eat and sleep on the regular for the next few weeks. That means no skipping meals, no having “fruit salad” for dinner, and going to bed and to sleep at a decent hour every night.

This will NOT be me. Most of the time.

Fortunately, I have a lot to keep me busy. I’m wrapping up an editing project this weekend, just in time to get The Ruby Blade back from my editor to do revisions. I have a Raj chapter to write, I’m deep in Eleanor book 4, and I’ve started outline books 1-3 of my new series. Plus, all that kid time with the world’s best kid and future leader of a unicorn cult.

GAH! That bump!

 

SaveSave