Tag Archives: goals

May Motivation

Soooo….I had goals. And lo! They were awesome goals. And, with the exception of one, I knocked them out of the park.

Which one did I fumble on? (Look at me with my sportsball metaphors! Fun fact: I played softball for years, although I haven’t played since my team was kicked out of the LA blah blah blah league for a travesty on the field of play. I don’t remember exactly what happened, because afterwards, there were mimosas, but I think one of our players tried to [or possibly succeeded] in hitting an umpire.)

ANYWAY, all that being said, I messed up on the yoga goal. I’d been doing so well! So much yoga! I was going to yoga six whole times in May. I went once. One time. On May second.

*hangs head in shame*

There were so many confounding factors! We went to the coast! I had my kid’s afterschool program end of the year family night! I went to a celebration of life. (It was for a cat, but he was a very, very good cat.) The beer guy had to work and Alvie Bean is still (STILL!) not old enough to take care of himself. And on. And on.

I was very, very busy is what I’m saying.

This is exactly what I told my therapist when we were talking about how I’m too busy to add in the stuff I know needs to happen. And it’s true. I am busy. I work my day job 8 hours/day. On my lunch break and commutes, I’m usually working by either writing or editing. I generally spend 7-10:30 writing or editing each night (7:30-10:30 when I have Ye Olde Kidde), and spend a lot of the weekends writing/editing/ensuring that we don’t live in squalor.

See? Much, much too busy for pesky things like “exercise” and “eating.”

Oh yeah. Eating. (CW: disordered eating)

I prefer not to eat. If I could, I’d subsist on a diet of cheese, tartare, eggs (lightly cooked), and wine. However, I can no longer eat cheese (at least not much), and going out for tartare with quail egg every night is apparently “extravagant” and my bank says “no.”

This explains my vitamin D levels, which are low, even for Portland.

I am supposed to be brainstorming ways to talk myself into prioritizing me and my health. So far, I’ve tried yelling at myself in very motivational ways.

[I couldn’t find a meme that accurately depicted me yelling at myself without be creepy or borderline offensive. Imagine something nice and amusing here, instead.]

So, instead of being “too busy” or “too tired” to exercise/eat/take care of myself, I’m supposed to take baby steps of kindness. Which sounds kinda silly when I type it out, but for someone like me, it might be the best way.

Easily achievable goals instead of stretch goals – at least when it comes to exercise and food – are what I’m supposed to be looking at now.

For June, I will go to yoga once/week and will make a point of getting on my bike once/week. I will also do 10 minute walks (like ten minutes in a row; not a combined total of 10 minutes) once/week. I will start logging my eating again and will eat regular meals…regularly. No more “forgetting” or “being too busy to eat.”

Ugh. That looks so pathetic all written out. I want something like my schedule from eight years ago (taken directly from my workout log):

Monday – rest
Tuesday – 10 mile bike ride, 3.5 mile run, 10 minutes of upper body strength
Wednesday – 1 mile swim
Thursday – 4.5 mile hill run, 90 minute yoga class
Friday – rest/walk
Saturday – 2 hours unspecified activity
Sunday – 12.5 mile trail run

Food – not tracked, but likely I ate all the food. I looked good, yo!

Never mind that it was 9 years ago, 1 kid ago, and that I was working part time (4 days/week), hadn’t quite started grad school yet, and didn’t care about spending time with my now ex-husband. it doesn’t matter! I should 100% be able to jump right back into that schedule, right? RIGHT?

Apparently no.

So here I am, taking baby steps, not so that I can get back to that place, but so that I can imagine the possibility of getting back to that place.

So, motivation…I’m still lacking the push that it takes to go from an object at rest.

Looking for my external force.

In the meantime, I guess I’ll try faking it ’til I make it. I’ve done this before. Granted, I was a lot younger and had 100% fewer children, but I made it work once, and I can do it again.

 

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May Day! May Day!

Well hellllooooooo! I have been gone lo! these many weeks. I feel like the last five weeks have been crazy, but then when I look back at my life, it turns out that crazy is the new normal. (That’s what my shrink says. Probably.)

Since The Broken World came out, I’ve been managing to keep myself busy. (True story – 99% of the time I type “busy,” I accidentally write “busty” instead. And I have definitely been keeping myself busty.)

ANYWAY. What have I accomplished?

  • I finished my first draft of “It’s Not in the Cards,” which will be the first book in my Oracle Bay series.
  • I started a new medication that seems to be (knock on all the black cats) working pretty well, now that the side effects have mostly dissipated.
  • I took a quick trip to the coast to visit Oracle Bay with the Beer Guy.
  • I’ve been editing for my freelance clients.
  • I’ve outlined Oracle Bay #2
  • I’ve spent more time learning about blocking IP addresses and dealing with Amazon customer service than I cared to
  • I’ve been momming at a very high level (side note: when does parenting get easy? asking for a friend)
  • I’ve managed to get through 4.5 seasons of Supernatural
  • I saw Hamilton (!!!)
  • I went to the Saturday yoga class that’s been on my calendar for a year. Yes, for the first time. (I’ve been twice now. I’m ready for my Yoga Journal cover shot.)

So, you know, since all that crap’s behind me…

I want to revive my habit of making monthly goals. But I also don’t want to get carried away. Small starts. I’m a huge checklist person. Nothing makes me happier (well, almost nothing) than crossing things off a list. And although I’ve been riding out this never-ending storm, I’d like to get enough perspective/distance to see if I’m just sitting in some rough water or if I’ve lost my ability to determine how hard things are. So. Goals.

May 2018 Goals 

  1. Yoga – six classes
  2. Oracle Bay 2 – 40K words
  3. Two Raj chapters/two Wing and a Prayer chapters
  4. Get the bike out and make sure it’s ridable. Then, if I’m feeling extra feisty, ride it.
  5. 3/6/12 month business plans.

That is ambitious, but achievable.

Dream big, pony boy.

 

And you? Anything big for May? I can’t believe the school year’s almost over and my kid is just about finished with kindergarten. How did that even happen?

Motivation Monday

So – a goals checkin. The month is 3/4 over – how am I doing?

My goal for the month was to work on my movement. I’m happy to report that I’m doing decently well, considering the shoulder injury, etc.

My shoulder is doing so much better! So much! I’ve been keeping up with my PT (gooooo me!) and have been cleared to do any kind of exercise I want, as long as I don’t push through pain.

I’ve been walking a lot more, and have doubled my daily walking average over the last month.

I’m hiring a running coach starting next month so that I have someone to be accountable to as I make my way to my first 10K in May. I am planning my triumphant return to yoga this week. I’m not sure when I’ll be back in the pool – that’s a lot of stuff to balance with everything else.

I am not doing this. Nope.

I’ve doubled my weekly average meditation time from 5 minutes to 10 minutes!

I have started a new medication and taken it every day since. I’ve also done really well at taking my vitamins, drinking plenty of water, drinking next to zero amounts of alcohol, and have done much, much better at getting to bed earlier. I’m still not doing well at getting up earlier, but as I’ve been so sleep-deprived, I’m just trying to catch up at this point.

The beer guy & I have booked all our hotels in Europe and have tentative schedules while there. I have also – and most importantly – ordered new shoes for the trip. They will arrive today, and I will share the magic with you tomorrow.

All-in-all? This month has been leaps and bounds better than the last couple. I’m still struggling with some stuff, but I’m working on things rather than just burying them. I hope.

Have a great week! I hope you’re on track for all your goals!

FREE BOOK!

Seriously!

You can enter to win a chance to win the first book in Darynda Jones’s Charley Davidson series, that I loved unreservedly until the end of book 9. Now I am only loving it reservedly. For reasons.

However, if you’d like to obtain your very own copy of the first book in the series, you can enter to win here by agreeing to follow me on Amazon! (I just picked up the 12th book in the 13-book series last night. Because I love Charley and I have hope!)

Other freebies, you request?

If you want to win a Kindle Fire, I’ve got the giveaway for you. It involves signing up for a few author newsletters, but they’re probably all awesome authors…I know this, because I’m one of them.

I know I’m way, way behind in book reviewing. I have a number to do. Last autumn –between the kid, my shoulder, and my broken brain–kicked my ass.

My kid is so much better that I can’t even describe it. It was almost like he was possessed by a demon for two months. (And then, the demon leapt into my phone? Hmmm….plausible.) BUT, the old priest and the young priest and the best kindergarten teacher who’s ever lived exorcised that bullshit and things are so, so good now. I’ve gone from cautiously optimistic to status quo.

My shoulder is immensely better. I have five more PT sessions left, but my pain levels are almost always less than two, and even when it flares, it relaxes quickly. My strength is still lacking, but my range of motion and flexibility is getting better.

And finally – ahhh, the broken brain. This was the real problem. The reason my writing productivity was the lowest it’s been in four (seriously – FOUR!years. The other issues definitely compounded it, but I guess there’s only so long you can hold the crazy at bay before it comes back for you.

I’m not the best at medication compliance. Except for antibiotics. I always finish my antibiotics. Everything else? Nope. I feel better, or get bored, or decide that the professionals don’t necessarily know what they’re talking about. So I quit. And then, rather than tell anyone I’ve quit, I also quit seeing the prescribing doc. This was less of a problem in the previous years, because it was always easy for me to find someone new when needed. Now that I no longer work at a medical center, it’s suddenly more challenging.

I haven’t completely solved everything, but I made it through the darkest quarter of the year (Sept-December are always, always, always the worst for me), I have a temporary solution, and I’m feeling productive and hopeful.

My General, my Space Mom…and even now, I can’t believe she’s gone.

It’s a long journey and there’s still so much stigma. But you know what? If Carrie Fisher can talk about it, then so can I. Just a little. I’m a work in process, but I’m getting there.

Bonus: I’ve written 8/9 days this month and will finish The Broken World this week. (My cover is underway! AHHHH!)

76 days until you can find out what happens when Eleanor opens the final gate!

Thank you for all your support during the end of last year. It means a lot to me. I got a lot of nice messages from readers (and friends) (and friends who are readers and readers who’ve become friends) and they meant a lot to me.

Pretty sure this is going to be an awesome year…

2018: Me First

I’ve done a lot in the last 2.5 years. I’ve published three books, gotten my freelance business off the ground, started an LLC with my partner-in-all-things, moved twice, divorced (once), started a new relationship, and seen my kid through some thoroughly hellish ups and downs. I’ve traveled to Iceland and Mexico (as well as some domestic trips). I’ve lost a job and started a new one.

There is, however, one very important thing that I didn’t do.

I didn’t take care of myself.

For some reason, everyone and everything else came first. I just couldn’t find the time to take care of me, and later I couldn’t find a reason.

I’ve been doing a lot of patchwork to try to keep myself afloat and trying really hard to fake it ’til I make it.

Everything’s Fine!

I told myself that as long as I was meeting all my work deadlines (for all 3 jobs), I was doing okay. The fact that I wasn’t eating or sleeping or exercising or feeling good about anything ever would correct itself in time.

NARRATOR VOICE: “It did not, in fact, correct itself.”

I found myself, by the end of the year, in a situation where I couldn’t take one more thing. So, of course, that’s when at least one more thing happened. Things were rough with my kid, and then I fucked up my shoulder, and those two things together made me just. stop. functioning.

It got to the point where my situation was untenable, but I was so far off-course, I didn’t know how to self-correct. So, after months of innumerable calls to millions (possible slight exaggeration) of therapists, and after spending most of a day crying, I got three phone calls in two days for people who finally had room for me!

If only it were that easy. And that cheap.

I had my first appointment Thursday, and it was hard. He said a lot of things that were absolutely true and that I absolutely did not want to hear.

I’m not quite to the sharing place yet, so I’m gonna be pretty vague about what those things were, but although it was hard AF, it was important. The bottom line is that I have a lot of work to do. This work is going to have to be first and foremost in everything I do for the next year. And don’t worry! You can come along for the ride!

I have several goals for this year, some big and some small. But first and foremost, is one (not-so-) simple goal.

Me First

18 Goals for 2018

  1. Adhere to all therapeutic interventions. This means do my physical therapy exercises as instructed and as often as instructed. This means that if medication is prescribed, I will take said medication, as instructed, for as long as instructed, and I will not stop taking said medication without the go-ahead from the prescribing physician.
  2. Write four books. (Tiny goal!)
  3. Make a profit in my writing/freelancing business
  4. Moisturize a lot more often
  5. Walk/run the four quarter marathons I signed up for.
  6. Go to Ireland and Spain and have a really good time.
  7. Find a better after school care for Alvie when he starts 1st grade
  8. Belgium, hopefully
  9. Take care of my body by eating regular, healthy meals, drinking plenty of water, sleeping an adequate amount each night, and moving it about on the regular
  10. Take more pictures with me and other people.
  11. Learn to read for pleasure again
  12. Really work hard at meditation
  13. VITAMINS
  14. Work on my language learning
  15. Hug the Bean more. Pick him up, way, way less.
  16. Buy clothes that fit and get rid of things (clothes, etc.) in my life that don’t make me feel good.
  17. Get my black boots repaired.
  18. Take time, every day, to appreciate the good things in my life.

Happy 2018, blog readers! 

Remember: