Last August, I typed my New Year’s goals for you after declaring my own year (still working on the calendar system, but I can tell you right now, February is gonna get more days. Possibly at the expense of September. I hate that month).
I haven’t been very present on this blog. Or anywhere, actually. Although things aren’t as bleak as they were last summer, it’s still been an intense year.
I started January with shingles, which resulted in constant pain (mostly gone now) and some hearing loss. I went through an entire season of all-to-frequent contact with my lawyer, but after almost 9 months, was able to finish that labor in a great place to protect my child for the next 11 years.
I also published A Wing and a Prayer and hit the USA Today Bestseller list!
I went to Belgium and Czechia.
I got married.
I published another book – like three days later.
We celebrated my kiddo’s 1st Liana-versary with hiking and presents and cake and decorations. (I didn’t quite get the layer colors quite right, but she assured me I can keep practicing every year until I do.)
And here I am, almost through August. Ready to send my kid off to 2nd Grade. And even though all the big stressors of the last 12 months are mostly gone (I’m married, my kid is doing pretty well, the legal stuff is over for now, I got four books out in the last 12 months), something still isn’t right.
But you know what? It’s fucking New Years. Last year was the Year of the Phoenix. I had 12 goals.
- Feel comfortable in new job by my birthday (2/24 in case you need time to plan your celebratory activities) – done
- Publish five books & 1 novella by the end of the Year (8/14/19) – not quite; 3 books & 1 novella
- Find three new clients for the editing business I share with the Beer Guy – We have worked with 3 new clients (and then some!)
- Get married – Done
- Have the most awesome honeymoon ever – Super done
- Find a physical activity I super enjoy and do it regularly for fun (preferably trail running) – still in progress – more on that in a minute
- Develop a regular at-home yoga practice – hahaha. no.
- Stay meds compliant. I’ve never managed to be compliant for more than 6-8 months. I’m currently, as of New Year’s Day, five months in on my current medication. There will be the added challenge of switching providers and insurance. – passed with flying colors. I’m 17 months in, managing the dickish new providers, and making things happen.
- Find two really good pairs of jeans. – eh. Yes. Kinda. I’m happy with my new affinity to leggings.
- Learn to appreciate massages. – done. I get monthly massages and they are wonderful.
- Become more comfortable with self promotion. Still working on it, but if you want to check me out on Amazon, I welcome your participation!
- Develop an elaborate framework for the Cissell calendar and Cissell astrology. – well, I created a graphic for Cissell II. So that happened.
I found out this week that I have pretty sever sleep apnea, which has almost definitely been contributing to my depression and exhaustion. During my sleep study, I stopped breathing about 25 times each hour, meaning I’m waking up every 2 minutes or so.
I’m also upping the dosage on my crazy pills. This was the dosage that was recommended by my old psychiatrist a year ago, but when I switched to Kaiser, the new shrink didn’t believe I was bipolar (despite an almost 20 year history of getting independently diagnosed by several psychiatrists) and didn’t want to increase my dosage. So I’ve been coasting along at this ‘not quite therapeutic enough’ level for just over a year while doing my best to avoid the crummy shrink. (Did you know at Kaiser, you can’t just switch therapists or psychiatrists. It is a process of 3-4 months. Fortunately, crummy shrink was on vacation this week and I got to talk to her substitute. He was fantastic and is going to be my temporary guy until I get a permanent placement again.)
So – time for my New Year’s resolutions for this, the second year of Cissell.
- Find a fairly inexpensive place to vacation abroad. (Don’t want to break my streak of getting a passport stamp every year since 2016).
- Finish the Eleanor Morgan series and add at least one Oracle Bay book to my list.
- Work on marketing skills.
- Use CPAP machine religiously and find out what it’s like to be rested again.
- Learn to be more vulnerable. Strength /= lack of emotion. Ask for and accept help.
- Make time, 3-4x/week, for exercise. Even if it’s just 20 minutes.
- Rediscover my love of the trails, whether it’s hiking with my daughter or running by myself.
- Biweekly swim dates with the child.
- Monthly blog posts
- Quarterly fancy dates with my husband
- Stop frequently and watch in awe as my daughter grows up and completes second grade. Be there when she needs me, but staying a few steps back when she doesn’t. (Also, force her to ride her damn bike already, I mean I was riding before kindergarten C’MON!) Let go of the things that don’t really matter (biking) and work on the things that do (swimming) and find a way to enjoy soccer momming.
- Court balance and self care.
What are your goals as you move into the Year of the Unicorn?