A few weeks ago in a Yin Yoga class I was taking the instructor said something to this effect. “It is okay to get angry. Just don’t be angry.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about that recently. Lately, I feel like I’m becoming an angry person. I always have excuses that make it beyond my control. But it’s really not, is it?
So, I have decided that one of my goals for this year (I didn’t post as an “official” goal, because I was trying to only have 11 official goals, which is dumb, I have like eleventy-million goals, I am very goal-oriented) is to be a more positive person. To think happy thoughts. To recognize the anger, the negativity, the mean-spiritedness. And then, to let it go & move on.
I honestly don’t think I’m usually negative. I tend to be a glass-half full (unless it’s a wine glass, then it’s never full enough!), always look on the bright side, I can usually think of something nice to say, kind of person.
HOWEVER, there are times I find myself falling into this slow, steady descent into negativity.
I will say bad things about myself. Case in point: I was just on Facebook (earlier today, not at work or anything. Not that I’m at work now, posting to my blog. So, really, it could’ve been FIVE MINUTES AGO, because I am at home. Or something.) ANYWAYS…I was looking at photos on Facebook that friends of mine had taken & posted. And in quite a few, if I commented on the photo at all, it was to put down my appearance. “I look all round & shiny!” “Too bad I didn’t run off that extra chin before brunch.” Etc. and etc.
Why do I do this? It’s not just about appearance, either. I can find 10 negative things to think about myself before breakfast, which is not impossible at all, unfortunately.
And I don’t just stop there! Sometimes I say or think negative things about people, places, situations, that really aren’t necessary.
I want to be a “if I can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all” kind of person.
I don’t want to gossip.
I want to be happy, and I think happy thoughts breed happiness.
I’ve stopped reading all the gossip columns I had saved in my google reader.
I deleted the entertainment sites from my iGoogle page.
I am pledging to think positive thoughts about me, and the weather, and life, and to strive to be the kind of person about whom others will say, “she never had an unkind word to say.”
After all, I do firmly believe we get out of life (and the universe) exactly what we put into it, so why take my chances with getting crap back! I wouldn’t expect to be physically healthy if all I filled myself with was preservative-laden fake food and sugary sweets, so why do I think I can be emotionally & mentally healthy if I fill my mind & mouth with unkindness?
I know this will be a struggle; sometimes I think I’m funny when I’m actually being mean, and it’s hard for me to always know the difference. Sometimes, I get caught up in a moment & don’t think before I speak.
Sometimes my situation at work pushes me quite a ways towards anger, and bitterness, and negativity. And although some of that is coming from external sources, I don’t have to let them affect me the way they do AND I can look at ways to change my situtation.
This will definitely not be an easy goal to accomplish, but something I will need to work on, not only this year, but likely always. I do believe, however, that being nice is probably as habit forming as the opposite – and I’ve seen enough of negative thinking from former friends & acquaintances in the last years to know that’s not something I want to become.