I am having trouble finding mine. Have you seen it?

My problem (ha! like there’s only one!) is that if I’m not running at 120%, I am operating at about 20%.

I like being busy. Wicked, wicked busy.

I like working a fairly stressful job 4 days a week.

I like being in a master’s program that often demands 1+ papers/week.

I like gardening/cooking/canning/making cheese in my spare time on the weekends.

I like volunteering every Friday afternoon for an organization that does really awesome things.

I like reading an average of one new book/week (this does not count the bedtime books I read – books that I read over & over as I lay in bed preparing for sleep).

I like running/yoga/swimming every week.

I like doing it all. Yes – sometimes I need a break, and I take one, stepping back from everything for a couple of days. BUT, I always come back to that level of activity.

Because if I don’t have it all going on at once, I can’t do anything.

Right now, all I’ve got is work & school, and it’s not enough. I haven’t done any of my reading for my current class. I am sitting here blogging instead of writing a fairly complex paper that is due tomorrow. I can barely stay ahead of my schedule at work.

It’s stupid that I can get so much more done when I’m doing so much more.

I know, though, that if I went over to the gym for a quick weights/cardio session, I could come back and knock this paper (that I haven’t even started researching) out of the park.

If I could just get up and finish cleaning the house post Spooktacular, I’d have enough energy to finish my reading.

If I could get my garden cleaned up & ready for winter, I’d be able to take a shower & get dolled up for the birthday party I’m attending tonight.

BUT – I’m sitting here, at 2:42 pm, in my pajamas, typing a blog post complaining that I have no motivation.

Awesome. If by awesome, you mean lame.


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