Q: How do you make a porno martini?
- Chill the gin.
- Fill martini glass with ice & soda water (the bubbles & ice make the glass colder).
- Fill shaker with ice, pour in 3 shots of gin & 1/2 shot of dry vermouth.
- Shake vigorously (put the cover on first).
- Dump the water & ice out of the glass.
- Spritz glass with vermouth.
- Strain gin into glass.
- Add olives (I prefer either sun-dried stuffed tomato olives OR bleu-cheese stuffed olives).
- Take off all your clothes, hold the gin glass between your thighs, as high as possible, and drink without spilling. (Alternately, you can do this with a partner.)
If, however, you just want a NON-porno martini, skip step #9 and just drink.
*questions are edited for clarity, spelling and grammar. Heh – the first time I typed that, I spelled grammar wrong.