Three Things Thursday: mental health as told by Dean Winchester .gifs
- I’ve been at the new job for a month. Although there are some things I don’t like about the job (98% of those things are “having a job;” I’d prefer to be independently wealthy), I feel like a completely different person than I did two months ago. It’s kind of amazing how much self-worth is attached to “earning money” and “receiving the respect and appreciation of your colleagues.”
- Other good news on the mental health front: I’ve had two panic attacks in the last week. How is this good news, you might ask? I’ll tell you.There was a time when I was having panic attacks on a nearly daily basis. Starting about four months after Bean was born until almost a year ago, panic attacks were a part of my daily life. My only hope at that time was that I wouldn’t get one while driving over the Marquam Bridge. I tried a wide variety of medications to quell the panic attacks and get the anxiety under control. Nothing really worked, but I did get to take a lot of extremely addictive drugs and then wean myself off of them. (Aside: the other night, the Beer Guy and I were watching a comedy special and the guy was talking about being prescribed the same drug and how not fun the coming off it was. Psycho solidarity is a real thing.)ANYWAY – back to panic attacks. About a year ago, they mostly disappeared. There were times when my anxiety was higher than others, but the chest-crushing, can’t breathe, probably hyperventilating, maybe passing out, am I sure that it’s really just a panic attack and not a cardiac event this time? episodes were mostly gone. (Instead, I got a fun uptick in the number of aural migraines!) So why am I asserting that the panic attacks are good things (well, at least not awful things)? I think I’ve finally gotten back to a place where my general anxiety is low enough that my body can actually have a panic attack. Like for real-I was too anxious during the last year to have a panic attack because my body legitimately couldn’t work up any more adrenaline because it was all in use. (OMG, maybe I had adrenal fatigue. That’s a real thing, right Cat?) (Heh. She hates it when I say that. #science #psm)So, in short (’cause I am not a tall woman.), my mental health progression over the last year or so has been like:
Fake it ’til you make it…
And maybe someday, I’ll get here…
- One last piece of good news. I wear a fitbit that not only tracks my steps, but also my heart rate. I spent a number of years as a fairly physically fit person. I ran a marathon, did several sprint triathlons, more 5Ks than I can count, and thought nothing of heading up to Forest Park to run 10-15 miles on the trails. The last two years have not been good for my physical fitness. Stress and single parenting took a huge toll on my fitness levels (and my weight, obviously). My resting heart rate, which two years ago was about 54, was up to an average of 74 a month ago. One month on the job (with the requisite leaving the house, walking about, and lowered stress), and now I’m here:
So much win! (Ha! I typed “so much wine” on my first go. SELF! It’s 8:30 in the morning. No wine for you!)
It’s a small step, but an important one for my overall mental and physical well-being. (Now, I just need to make it through my imaging appointment tomorrow without needing a paper bag, and it’ll be clear sailing…)
Have a great Memorial Day weekend, Americans! (And a great regular weekend, everyone else.)
There was no way I wasn’t sharing this once I saw it. I care about each of you too much.
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