Bump Day – 23 Weeks: Viewer Discretion Advised

Okay – so I have pics this week. These pictures are rather alarming, so I just want you to be prepared.

I’ll start you off easy  – the “from the top” belly view. I’ve put this week’s photo up with the week 21 photo (i.e. the photo I took JUST TWO WEEKS ago) so you could see what kind of scary territory we’re heading into.

As you can see, I no longer have feet. Also, I have hardwood floors now! MAGIC! (Or, I took the photo downstairs instead of upstairs. Whatever.)

The disappearance of my feet is only mildly alarming when you see what comes next.

I took the photos two weeks ago just before heading out to yoga with my friend Emily. That was Wednesday November 23. I then didn’t see Emily again until last Friday, again at yoga. I was dressed similarly for both sessions – leggings, athletic shirt, etc. When I saw her just 10 days later, I believe her reaction was something along the lines of “holy crap what happened to you?!” (Why isn’t there an interrobang on the keyboard? I would use it all the time!)

She was, of course, more polite than that, but seriously – I have no idea what happened to me.

You know how every sci-fi show that deals even remotely with adult themes has the woman who becomes pregnant with some kind of demon or alien spawn, and the gestation is super fast (because it would be boring to have 9 months of demon gestation), so one day they just wake up all hugely pregnant? Yeah….that’s how I feel right now.

So – please – sit down. Send all impressionable children out of the room.

Brace yourselves.

two weeks! 

I don’t think there’s really a question of whether or not I’m pregnant now. (Also, my maternity bike shorts = awesome!)

In other news, there are no longer affordable bras that fit.

The good news? I’m pretty sure I know where all my weight gain is going. And also – for the first time that I can remember, my boobs are not the most sticky-out part of me. (I need new sports bras, too. And perhaps minions whose jobs are to offer structural support.)

How ridiculous is this?

Funny story – I didn’t realize that I ever did this before, but today I saw a very good looking man as I was walking at work. I immediately straightened my posture and attempted to suck in my stomach a bit. Yeah. That didn’t so much work. In fact, that was really uncomfortable. Apparently, pregnant belly is next to impossible to suck in. (Does anyone else do that? Is it just me?)


Also interesting – my face, neck, arms, and legs are all getting thinner. Only the belly and boobs continue to expand.



Other baby updates – the architect felt Alvie kick for the first time over the weekend! AND, I saw the baby kick for the first time over the weekend. It’s still kind of awesome and not at all painful or uncomfortable. It is, however, a bit annoying at 3 AM, but whatever!

We are all signed up for the birth classes, including the waterbirth class (I’m not sure if we’re going that route, but I’m keeping my options open right now), the birth center tour, and the breastfeeding and “how to take care of your newborn without accidentally feeding it to a cat” classes.

Now I just need to get on the ball and tour a couple more daycares instead of just hoping that the magical daycare will call and say that they’ve moved Alvie to the top of the waiting list.


Our registry is mostly done. I think. I’m sure I’m forgetting something essential (it’s really more of a reference guide for us, rather than a crass cry for gifts), but I think that as long as I have a carseat, diapers, and a place for Alvie to sleep, we’ll be okay.

We received a box of little baby boy clothes from my neighbor who just had a boy. She’d gotten boxes of baby boy clothes from another friend, and passed on the extras to me! Yay!


So – there you have it. Alvie is ravenous. I am humongous. And if I continue to double in size every two weeks, I’m going to need a forklift by the time April rolls around.


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