Paranoid

You guys, I have a confession. I am LAZY! And busy. But mostly lazy. I haven’t done a bit of cardio since last Thursday’s bike ride. (I did yoga on Friday & garden/yard work Saturday, but that’s it.) Even the Ambitious One, who had good reason to be skipping workouts, is working out.

Part of this? It is my last week of my current class. And I do want to finish my project (a presentation, complete with audio, of the project I’ve been working on for the last 7 weeks). (AUDIO, as in me talking! Does anyone want to come read a script into a microphone & pretend to be me? I am a new toaster! I don’t even have my book yet! This is not fair.)

AHEM!

So – partly due to busy. BUT, partly due to running paranoia. I want to run. But am developing a weird fear of running. I know, right? WEIRD. I have also developed a very weird workout inferiority complex. <whine> I’ll never be strong enough/fast enough/good/enough</whine>

Other crap things: I have gained some weight in the past months. Not a ton, but I am out of my comfort zone. Enough out of my comfort zone that today, I put on a skirt that I’ve been meaning to give away because the last time I wore it last summer, it FELL OFF MY BODY. Which is not cool. Today? it’s still big, but I am in no danger of being embarrassed (ha! get it?) at work.

So – things have got to change. (For starters, I am never again allowed to have peanut butter & wine for dinner – that is not the meal of champions. Or of anyone who doesn’t want a stomach ache the next morning.)

I am going to start training again. But not for running. I am planning on doing a metric century in 10 weeks. That is not as scary as 100 miles, but still has the word ‘century’ in it. I am going to drop my running plans down to twice/week (likely Tuesday/Fridays –  my feet don’t like to run on weekends), keep swimming like a fish, and start yoga-ing more.

My only conflict at this time is: I cannot wear my bike shoes (due to Damian), but miss having that power you get from being clipped in (sometimes I forget & try to pull the pedal up with my running shoes which never works). Should I shell out the $$ to find new shoes that might fit around Damian, or just deal with the ride w/o being clipped in?

3 responses to “Paranoid

  1. I’d see if you can find a new pair of shoes on sale someplace. I got mine or dirt cheap on some random website. Good luck!

  2. If you get really desperate (and/or stage fright) I’d be happy to do your project audio for you. I actually have experience! My friend got her MST a few years ago and recruited me to do the voiceovers for her capstone project. So somewhere in the OGI archives there is a presentation with my dulcet tones 😉 I used to do a lot of PA announcements for my job in my college bookstore so I’ve got the technique down pat.

  3. Hey, we have allllll been there in some way. So maybe you really do need a mental break from running and need to get involved in yoga or something to help you mentally relax and get back to knowing how amazing that you are.

    I often find stress in other areas flows over to my whole life and suddenly everything seems harder. We all know you can do it…let us know what we can do to support you 🙂 cause it’s what us bloggies love!