I have finally been de-feeted

Well, not actually, although who knows what the podiatrist will recommend. I am about ready to do a self-amputation, though. (Honestly, it was bad enough last week that I went to a shoe store that sells danskos & crocs to see if there was a shoe that would fit on my foot. Fortunately for me, there wasn’t.)

My foot has not recovered. In fact, the foot is in a pretty bad way. I’m pretty sure that at any second, an alien is going to burst forth from the side of my foot and start trying to hunt down Sigourney Weaver.

dramatic recreation of my foot

Sorry about that photo. But really – you’re lucky I didn’t show you a photo of my ACTUAL foot. It’s much worse. Everyone who’s seen it in the past weeks, INCLUDING A RUNNING SHOE SALESMAN, has said, and I quote, “erghhhhh…..”

So – what does that mean?

Well, it means that I’ve been compensating for the foot pain by walking and running funny and have also managed to turn myself into a hunchback.

dramatic recreation of what I look like right now. seriously.

I haven’t run since last Tuesday, when I went through one of the most painful 4.5 miles of my running career. I was supposed to run with the Ambitious One this Tuesday, but Monday night, when I had to remove my shoe to DRIVE due to the pain, I was forced to call and cancel on her (and leave what was apparently a super pathetically sad voicemail in the process).

Tuesday, I woke up with serious back agony and called in to work. I spent the day moping and whinging.

Wednesday, I made my kick-ass neighbors drink all the wine in North Portland with me and whinged some more.

Today, I whinged at the Ambitious One on a coffee date and Junk Miles on a cocktail date.

Of course, the architect has been blessed with near constant whinging all week (not to mention the grumpiest wife this side of the Mississippi).

I have a podiatrist appointment for next Friday (April 2) to see what’s wrong with my foot. Unless a miracle happens and the alien comes out leaving my foot 100% normal, I will not be running until at least April 3.

April 3 is almost exactly 1 month before the marathon. At this point, my longest run, which was almost three weeks ago, has been 14 miles.

I can transfer my marathon registration to the half marathon without penalty up until March 31. Which is what I am likely going to do.

I am hoping that I will be able to run the three races that I have on my schedule in the next five weeks, but I doubt I’ll be RACING any of them. (And by racing, I of course mean trying to PR, not trying to win.)

So, basically what I’m trying to say is that I’m a marathon drop-out.

And I feel like a giant loser/quitter. Monday evening I told the architect that I was more concerned about looking like a loser than permanently hurting my foot. He asked me at what point during my weekend in Seattle had I turned into a man. Which may have been an insult to men everywhere. I know that this is the right decision, because feet are so important to many of my favorite things: running, swimming, yoga, wearing super cute shoes (which obviously I cannot do right now, and that is almost as bad as not being able to run). I know that very few of you are thinking right now, “that gazelle is such a loser for not being able to run through the pain of an alien gestating inside her foot.” I just hate being a quitter. Because quitters never win, right?

ACK!

Of course, it might be hard to win without my right foot, too.

So – the plan is to step up the swimming & yoga during the next few weeks. I briefly thought about becoming a barefoot runner since my foot doesn’t hurt when there aren’t shoes involved, but then I remembered that barefoot running squicks me out, and decided against that path.

I am also going to try some biking, and if my foot feels okay, I will put on some shoes and lift weights. After 4/2, when the podiatrist magically cures my foot, I will start running again. And there will be great rejoicing! If the podiatrist doesn’t magically cure my foot, I might have some race bibs to get rid of.

And possibly a foot.

For Sale! Half Off!