PORN!!!

Actually, for the first time in weeks, I didn’t do any advance research. I didn’t spend hours several minutes looking at and drooling over shoes on Monday. I didn’t type this in advance. And in fact, as I type this sentence, I have no shoes to share.

None.

BUT – I do not want to let you down, loyal shoe porn readers! 

So – on the fly, I give you one (ONLY ONE) bit of shoe porn today:

They are very pretty. And apparently a best-seller. And out of my price range. 

However, we have more pressing problems. It turns out that I will, in fact, be going to the architect’s holiday party. The party put on by the company that laid him off a few weeks ago. It’s complicated. BUT – free food & booze, so hard to say no.

That is not the problem. The problem is I have nothing to wear, a VERY limited budget and 1.5 weeks in which to find an appropriate holiday dress.

Help? What’s a poor girl with an awkward figure (size 4/6 on the bottom, size 8/10 on top) to do? Last year, I had a beautiful dress, but even if I was to wear the same dress TWO YEARS IN A ROW, I’d really rather not, because I shopped with the architect, and when he assured me, “No, honey, of COURSE that’s not too much cleavage” I listened to him. I’d rather not have to drink enough wine to make my own cleavage look blurry. 

I kind of like this:

Or this:

But am afraid that both present the problem of too much boob as I believe I might be slightly more well-endowed than the above models. 

Suggestions? Please?

I don’t want to sound desperate, but pretty please?

29 responses to “PORN!!!

  1. I like the black one. I think it would cover the girls enough, yet its sexy.

  2. I really like the black dress too!! I can totally see you in it!!! With some sexy shoes?? I cannot give you advice on the shoes but your the expert on that anyway!!!

    Go for it pretty lady!!!

  3. Wow, that’s interesting that you are still going to the holiday party! I agree though, you don’t pass up free food and booze.

    I think both dresses are gorgeous! Depending on the exact cut of the red dress, it could be very flattering/supportive or a total cleaveage overload… this is my experience with halters anwyay. Wait, not a halter? Hmm then I don’t have an opinion.

    How about a seperate skirt/top combo? Then you could custom fit each piece. No matter what, I say kill ’em with the shoes.

    • I love, love, love halter dresses, but 9 times out of 10 end up scaring people (or at least myself) with my cleavage.

      At least I know my shoes will be awesome. (And love everyone’s faith in my ability to pick out some great shoes.)

  4. Any chance you can do a fancy top with nice pants? and of course…killer shoes!

    • I enjoy how everyone has confidence that I will at least have killer shoes 🙂

      As for top & pants – maybe top & skirt. I don’t think pants (only because I have a pants issue – not because it wouldn’t be good enough).

  5. Ooohh, PLEASE share – WHERE is the black one from???? I LOVE that!!! As for the “chest” issue, I totally think that both would be fine, but the black one could be super hot!!!! I’m with ya on being “more endowed” than the models, totally think the black one would be perfect (maybe for me too!!!)! I need a dress for New Years and that could be it!

  6. I agree with the two above.. what about two separate pieces? Particularly if you can parlay one or both pieces into something you would wear to work normally. That helps with the budgeting issue, no?

    • that is a good idea – I will definitely keep that in mind. A nice black skirt would be an excellent addition to my work wardrobe.

  7. ohhhh black one is super cute!!! and i like the skirt and top idea too. cant wait to see what you decide!!!

  8. I love the black one, you’d look super cute in it. Plus, I usually can hide the cleavage better with that type of a neckline than a v-neck.

    • I don’t necessary want to HIDE my cleavage – I’d just rather it not be the focal piece of the evening. 🙂

      Unfortunately, when I went to buy the black one, it was SOLD OUT!

  9. Are those both from Ann Taylor Loft? If so, I have a couple of coupons still for 20% off if you want them.

    I like the black one.

    No holiday parties this year for me…though did you hear about how our employee appreciation party was cancelled but the goodies were still delievered? Pretty funny. Guess they donated the cupcakes.

  10. I think you’ll look hot in either! That’s just me 🙂

  11. ok, going to a company holiday party for a company that just laid you off is weird. That has got to be uncomfortable. you must look stunning.

    I can tell you what kelley found for my companies holiday party, but you will be jealous.

    First, have you seen the dresses at White House Black Market lately? the clearance stuff is quite affordable. Kelley bought this dress today:

    http://www.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/browse/product.jsp?skuId=sku2650724&productId=300111396&edit=true&itemQuan=1&seqNum=ci569007200

    will a link work? you might have to copy and paste this. WHBM has some amazing sale deals right now. She’s not going to wear that dress to the holiday party, but with an email only discount code, she got it for only $36 even. and free shipping.

    Then she found these shoes at the outlet store:

    http://www.rackroomshoes.com/product/maripe/ginger/1000.154147.html

    to go with her actual dress. i’ll have to send you a pic after the party. it is soooooo cute. and a $36 dress with $25 shoes that will knock the architects former coworkers on the floor? priceless!

    She also found a pair of boots to go with a different dress from WHBM. Those would make you drool. Very similar to these boots, but no buckles and only $19.

    btw, your yoga dvd’s are burned and hitting the post office tomorrow.

    and i might need proof of this cleavage that you speak of? ;P

  12. Call me a rebel (or something worse, if you’d prefer),but I kinda like the red. Red seems a good holiday color. But I figure you’ll look hot in either.

    Okay, so separates work too. 🙂

  13. Wahoo for fancy holiday parties with free booze and food!

    As for clothes… cute ones…. that are inexpensive that might work with your super-lucky tiny but boobie frame….Maybe some kind of wrap dress? Go to The Nordstrom Rack in Tanasborne. Yes, a journey to the burbs it is, but their dress selection is typically fab!

    Good luck!

    • I’m checking out downtown Nordstrom Rack tomorrow, and if I don’t find anything, I will definitely make the trek. I am taking a girlfriend shopping with me tomorrow, instead of the architect. I’m sure she’ll be a bit more honest about my cleavage than he was. 🙂

  14. Love the boots. Don’t have the calves for them, I’m afraid! 🙁

    I second ThickChick’s wrap dress suggestion. I too am a member of the busty babes committee and love the way wrap dresses accentuate and taper!

    • I have only one pair of knee-high boots due to my very large calves, so they wouldn’t work for me, either. Although, someday when I’m wealthy, i will get a pair of boots from DUO where they custom-size them to your calf-measurements.

  15. love the top one…the red.

    and Im also the wrong one to ask as if I had more to my mammaries Id flaunt.

    for reals.

    Miz, who is now looking at the word mammaries and thinking it is misspelled but it’s not redsquiggled. you’ll have that I guess.

  16. Number two for sure. I’m very busty as well. That one could hide the sistahs.

    Oh, and I love those boots!!! I’ve found a bunch of stuff that I was drooling over but would not pay retail for on ebay. Just make sure they have a ton of good feedback!!!

    • eBay can be a fantastic resource, definitely. Just hard to count on shipping speeds, and this is a sartorial emergency!

      I can’t wait to see your shoe porn pics once you’ve purchased them. Am so very jealous.