My new life plan
My new plan is to avoid work and take lots of drugs. So far the best way that I’ve found to accomplish that is to hang out at the hospital. Where they give you morphine. And who doesn’t like morphine? You in the back with your hand up? You’re crazy, and I hereby claim your share of the world’s morphine. So ha!
I spent yesterday at the ER. With morphine (in case you hadn’t guessed that part). I have to say the staff at St. Vincent’s is 99% wonderful. However, I would like to share with all health care professionals reading this site – (WARNING – graphic descriptions of blood & stuff following. If you are uncomfortable with this, I suggest that you skip the next few paragraphs.) if a patient tells you that she has shallow veins and no one has ever easily a) inserted an IV line or b) drawn blood, my suggestion is that you believe said person and don’t believe that somehow you are better than everyone else. When I was in for my surgery, I came home with no less than six puncture wounds on my arms, including one on my right hand that is just now healing up. That one caused bruising all over the back of my hand that made bending the wrist painful and virtually impossible. I shared this with the nurse. She was certain it wouldn’t take her six tries. And, she was right. After five tries, she gave up and called the IV specialist. So – I came home with six more bruises, including one on the back of my left hand, that makes bending my wrist painful and virtually impossible. So – YAY!
In other good news, the problem I experienced yesterday was related to the surgery, and hopefully will be getting better soon. It is not, however, something I want to share with the internet at large. I do have a few boundaries.
OKAY TO START READING AGAIN, OH FAINT-HEARTED ONES
We also didn’t get the house we made an offer on. And, there are exterminators at our apartment right now, making it all chemical-like and stinky. Hopefully, it will be okay to go back there tonight.
So – all-in-all, not the best week ever. I do have high hopes for next week, though. First, I get Monday off, and I don’t even have to go to the hospital to get out of work! Second, there are two work birthdays next week, so that means cake! twice! Third, one of those birthdays is mine, and that means presents! and Mexican food! and other cool things. Also, it may mean turning 30, but that’s still up in the air. I had been contemplating staying 29 for the next few years. But then, I thought maybe I would TURN 30, and then stop. That way I have the implied maturity of being in my 30s, and it sounds more believable than 29. But still – not old sounding. I’m mulling it over and will let you know what I decide. 🙂
I hope everyone has a great weekend.
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