I have issues with the printer at work. I try to print, and it gets stuck in a loop, printing the same thing (slowly) over and over and over…necessitating phone calls to IT and much embarrassment, as well as a three-day ban from the printer (I’m pretty sure that was a joke, but I didn’t test it).
Today, when the ban was removed, I printed letters. They were printing exceptionally slowly, so to ensure that they didn’t start looping, I stood next to the printer, knowing it would be too afraid to screw up if I was staring at it.
Apparently my eyes are more powerful than I expected, because the printer table collapsed under the weight of my gaze. My boss was standing right there chatting with me, and the table, under the massively huge gigantic (not twee!) printer, broke. And fell. Right into my knees. I was unable to escape – trapped between the file cabinets and the printer.
I am not injured – bruised knees are pretty much my natural state – but it was kind of scary.
Also, now I (again jokingly?) have been given a lifetime printer ban.
Because I? Am graceful. Graceful like a gazelle. On crack.