Three Things Thursday: So Many Drugs Edition!

Yesterday, as I’d mentioned, I went in to get my endometrial ablation. The morning started with a valium, 2 vicodin, a belladonna/opium mix, a shot of “I forget what it was called,” and some animal crackers.

The drugs kicked in pretty quickly and I still had access to my smart phone. And so I shared my thoughts with everyone in Facebook land.

  1. I suggested to Facebook that now was an excellent time to sign up for races! Apparently, the Beer Guy did not agree. He and my PSM had this exchange:

    (Really, why dot they want me to deuce home? EXCELLENT QUESTION, stoned Amy!)

  2. I also expressed my thought that I should’ve disabled my Amazon app before taking drugs. This also dismayed the beer guy, who, at that point, was probably rethinking his position as love of my life. I tried to reassure him.

    I’m almost positive he found this extremely reassuring.
    SPOILER: I couldn’t figure out how to buy anything, so I won’t have any exciting Amazon purchases arriving. The occult saved us all!

     

  3. In less amusing news, after getting my hysteroscope (I tweeted that the inside of my uterus was surprisingly pretty), having an endometrial biopsy (just as much fun as it sounds), and getting the opportunity to have the ablation net deployed inside my uterus at least 100* times, it turns out that my uterus is too small for that type of ablation. My MD got a second opinion, and both determined that for some odd reason, my uterus is just the worst**. By this time I was sobbing in a combination of pain and extreme disappointment and MD #2 stuck a bunch of needles in my ear*** and we called it a day. The beer guy got to take home his extremely sore, sad, and stoned girlfriend and I spent the afternoon high on vicodin watching Buffy. We’re going to try again in 6-8 weeks, once my evil uterus that really, really hates me has a chance to rest up and recover from this. So, the good news? I get to do all the drugs again! In the meantime, I want to share with you the gorgeous photo in the procedure room that I stared at while trying to relax whilst having my uterus roto-rootered.

    That is totally not suggestive at all, is it?

* possibly a slight exaggeration. Slight.

** Which is why I was trying to get an ablation in the first place. My uterus is terrible. And really, how did my giant-headed baby fit in there? Answer: my uterus is simultaneously in several parallel universes.

***She was an acupuncturist as well as an MD. Next time, I get ear needles and drugs before the procedure.

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