Mac and cheese, Cabernet, and Vampires
I have officially reached the time of year that (literally) drives me crazy. Every Septemberish for almost as long as I can remember, I’ve started to unbalance. The degree of unbalance varies greatly, but if you looked back at my mental health log, you’d see that September is almost always when I start going to therapy again (I generally drop out in December or January because I still haven’t found a therapist I actually like).
It’s the month in which I stop sleeping, start getting more and more anxious, and basically hate everything about everything I’ve done. I get weepy (and I am not a weepy person) and depressed and my social issues are through the roof. Case in point: The architect and I were to go to the art museum Friday night – sans Bean and everything – but there were people there for some kind of event that I didn’t know about, so I made him drive on by and then we just had a martini instead. (The reason we were going to an art museum was because we’d originally been hosting a game night, and I couldn’t…people at my house…so I canceled that. WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE?)
This year, I decided to be pro-active! I will deal with things before September! I went to a (‘nother new) shrink just as I was switching jobs at the end of June. I was already super duper anxious then – mostly due to old job – and had another appointment at the end of July where I was pleased to report that I was feeling much better (a month at new job really helped). At that point, I was fine so made a third appointment for next week. Last week, the anxiety started spiking and the eye sockets started randomly leaking. I started having panic attacks again. I’d only had one in the previous 7 weeks (correlating perfectly to job switch).
I canceled social events that would require me to be…social. I stopped sleeping more than a scant few hours each night. I started craving comfort.
In the last week, I’ve made mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, chocolate chip cookies, meatloaf, and drinking red wine – something I don’t usually drink during the summer.
I also start re-reading. I have two entire bookshelf of “comfort books” – one next to my bed and one on my iPad. These are the books that comfort my mind the way a glass of Cab or a bowl of mac and cheese comforts my body.
So, you (are probably not) asking – what’s on these shelves?
I’m so glad you asked!
A selection from the real deal shelves
- Harry Potter
- Hobbit & LOTR
- Tam Lin
- The Talisman
- Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
- The Yellow Wallpaper (which maybe shouldn’t be on my ‘read while depressed’ shelf)
- The Wrinkle in Time series
- A smattering of Poe, Shakespeare, Austen, Robbins, Pratchett, and Atwood, and various and sundry other things
A selection from my virtual shelves (this is much more skewed towards paranormal content). (I really do have a virtual bookshelf labeled ‘comfort books.’)
- Mercy Thompson Series (Patricia Briggs)
- Kate Daniels series (Ilona Andrews)
- Walker Papers (Urban Shaman series) (CE Murphy)
- Iron Druid Chronicles (Kevin Murphy)
- Riley Jenson Guardian Series (Keri Arthur)
- Knitting in the City series (Penny Reid)
- Elemental Mysteries (Elizabeth Hunter)
Currently, I am reading (in addition to the smattering of new stuffs and work stuffs):
On my iPad (Kindle app):
With my ears (hooray for Audible!):
And the paperback:
And now it’s September, so I just have to get through this month. And I will. I always do. But please don’t hold it against me if I start to hibernate a bit.
What are your comfort reads?