The Art of Quitting
Quitting is a really interesting concept. There are so many fitspirational and other, less oiled-up motivational posters regarding quitting.
I don’t really believe that quitting is worse than collapsing in your own vomit at the gym, but quitting is definitely not positive. Unless you’re quitting smoking. I guess that’s generally regarded as positive.
This is a constant struggle for me. I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before that I tend to run best when my personal busy number is an 8 on a scale of 1-10. I like having a lot of things to do.
My problem is when I edge up to 8.1 on that scale. Then my GAD kicks in. Sometimes with a vengeance. (I spent a good 20 minutes on Web MD the other morning self-diagnosing a variety of conditions from myocardial infarction to acute pancreatitis [which is often caused by gallstones, which are created by a gall bladder, which I do not have]).
I think I’ve hit about a 9 on my busy scale.
I’ve gone from this:
Things I am doing (in no particular order):
- Training for a 70.3
- Editing a book
- Your mom (ha ha – just kidding)
- Reading for a research project
- Transitioning jobs at work, which means I’m simultaneously wrapping up a job I’ve had for 7 years and trying to prep for a new job
- Attempting to sleep
- Having a social life
So, I had to quit one of those things. I agonized about it. When I consulted with my PSM, she had this to say:
Pretty wise for someone so young, right?
So I did it. I dropped out of 70.3 training. The decision to do that, while not easy, was not the hardest part. The hardest part was telling my coach. I wanted to apologize for wasting her time while not being overly hard on myself.
She wasn’t too hard on me.
I’m lucky to know so many nice people.
So – I’m out for the 70.3 this year. I’m going to do an Oly in July (as planned) and downgrade the September 70.3 to an Oly as well. That’s still not too shabby, but should be infinitely less stressful.
My goal for June is to get to the end of the month without sneaking gin in to work and drinking it under my desk while rocking back and forth.
I AM a quitter. Because priorities. And because I really, really like writing and gardening more than training my ass to ride 56 miles on a bike.
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