1. Yesterday I decided I was getting bronchitis again. The reasons why I knew this to be true were (a) I had a cough and (b) I’d finally got rid of the codeine cough syrup left over from last time I had bronchitis. In an attempt to be proactive, I Googled “How to Prevent Bronchitis” and clicked on one of the top hits. The tips: (a) ginger & ginseng…okay, not too weird; (b) blow up a lot of balloons, for lung strength obviously; (c) juice fast because when I get homicidal from that I can just destroy the germy germs; and last but certainly not least, (d) avoid all those nasty chemikillZ in what “some people” like to call cold medicines, because that’s what really causes bronchitis.
Obviously, I’m trading in my Nyquil for some balloons and a juicer. And since I’m going au naturel with my meds, let’s go ahead and give a hip! hip! hooray for the newest “hey! isn’t that disease extinct!” outbreak. Say hello to MUMPS!
2. I am extremely frustrated with my winter health. I blame the tiny disease vector I live with. I have decided that the solution to this problem (as well as several others) is to get a sister wife. Said sister wife will be my housewife and a stay-at-home mom to our two children (she will either come with a daughter or have one shortly after arriving in my domicile). She will cook fabulous and healthy meals almost completely sourced from Cat and Amber. She will keep our house clean and our children happy and will answer the door in heels and pearls and holding a martini for me. It will be amazing. (Please forward all applications to gazellesoncrack at gmail.)
3. I see a nutritionist every couple of months. My first appointment since right before Thanksgiving was yesterday. One of the first questions she asked was, “Can you remind me how much vitamin D are you taking?” I squirmed uncomfortably in my chair and then admitted that not only was I not taking my VitD (I, like many of my neighbors here in the Pacific Northwest have low D levels), I was not taking any of my other vitamins that I’d promised to take (I also have low iron levels). And then we talked about sleep. I was able to blame that on Alvie at least. And then we talked about activity. And my new habit of subsisting on smoothies, coffee, and wine. There was a lot of squirming. So, I have a five point action plan:
- Take the vitamins.
- Eat lunch (or at least something food-like); no work coffee until finishing 20 oz of water.
- Prep two weekday meals on Sunday that require minimal effort to prepare; this leads to
- Eat dinner; wine is not dinner
- Active weekends
Not too hard, right? One of my biggest challenges is my all or nothing. If I don’t go all out, what’s the point of wading in? You’d think that being this close to completing my 38th year of life I’d have a handle on that, but I’m either balls deep in whatever I’m doing (metaphorically obviously) or I don’t even bother to show up (I probably stayed home to read).