Caffeine Ménage à Trois
The other night, I had a dream that the architect and I left the sleeping Alvie at home to take my loaner Jeep on a clandestine mission to break into a government facility for…reasons I can’t remember. I was so paranoid about getting caught and arrested and was angry at the architect for making me park close to the building entrance, because security cameras!
I woke up sweating, my heart pounding, convinced the cops would be breaking down my door at any minute to haul me to the hoosegow. It took a good five minutes of being awake to remember that it was extremely unlikely that I’d left Alvie at home (alone at night!) to break laws. I’ve never been known as “Lawbreaker” (I don’t think).
Anywhoosits, how are you? I’m sick. Again. I’m not sure what goes on at daycare, but I’m thinking that when there are no parents present, they put all the kids in a giant pool and spray them with germs, just to see what they catch and what they pass on. The Bean was sickly over the weekend – snot and coughing – but never lost his energy! Oh, no…that kid has enough energy to spare. I, however, can barely find enough energy to stay awake today, even after two large cups of coffee. I wish I could siphon from the Bean. It’s like five-hour energy, but more extreme. Maybe if 5-hour energy mated with Red Bull and then brought in some espresso beans for a threesome.
Yesterday, I suggested that maybe, just maybe, it was nap time. So he got all his little sleep companions (a monkey, a gorilla, and a bear), lined them up in his bed, pulled the covers over them, and said “shhhh” with his fingers over his lips. “Ni-ni.”
Nice try, kid, but you’re not fooling me.
Although today (if he were home, which he’s not), he might be able to talk me out of his nap if he pulled a blanket over me and said “ni-ni.”
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