Chub Day!
Chub Day!

Chub Day!

HIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!  Guess how much caffeine I’ve had today? If you guessed “too much” YOU WIN! (You win nothing, btw, but you can pat yourself on the back.) (Just be careful not to dislocate a shoulder.)

So! How are things in the wonderful world of child rearing you (probably don’t) ask? WELL, let me tell you about it.

My baby is awesome, of course. Like seriously fantastic, you guys. He generally sleeps between 9-10 hours at a stretch over night. He can raise his head & chest off the floor. He’s a Mr. Grabby Hands with his toys and my hair. He loves sitting up, even though he still kind of sucks at it. And he’s almost terminally adorable.



Surely there must be something about this whole baby-thing that’s not awesome, right?


My darling boy, my great little sleeper, my little, mellow, easy going smile-monster has decided that the actual going to sleep is something to be avoided at all costs. ALL COSTS! Even when he’s tired, and then more tired, and then super-dee-duper tired, he does not want to go to bed at night. I don’t know what he thinks he’s going to miss. I mean, yeah, we totally watch the Daily Show & Colbert after he’s asleep, but I don’t think he’s a huge fan of fake news yet (maybe he is – super intellectual baby loves satire).

So – there is screaming. Every night. However, having read lots and lots of mommy blogs, I know that we’re pretty lucky. Except for Friday night (when it lasted for almost an hour), the screaming is usually 30 minutes or less. It all started when I went back to work, so I think that there are just some adjustment issues going on. I’m sure once the new schedule is in place long enough, it’ll get better again. But oh! it’s so hard to watch your little guy cry so much that he almost makes himself sick. I know that everyone has different (and if internet comments are anything to go by – super passionate) beliefs about sleep training. I am not a cry-it-out kind of mama. We are more no-cry sleep solution types. However – interesting note – it may be calledno-cry,” but there is still crying. Just crying next to me (or on me), instead of in the next room.

Other things that maybe suck? Pumping. I am having a VERY hard time pumping. Very hard. I am getting enough milk (for now) for the little dude, but it is so time-consuming and painful. I have blisters from the pump and it takes about 40 minutes to get one bottle. I am in all day meetings tomorrow & Friday, so that should be interesting trying to find a time/place to disappear quietly and pump.


He is totally worth it, though.

As for me?

You guys, I am having a hard time. I finally went and bought a couple pairs of pants over the weekend for work. And they are 2 sizes bigger than the biggest size in my closet, 3 sizes bigger than the size I was wearing a year ago, and 4 sizes bigger than the size I was wearing while marathon training. FOUR. I haven’t felt this bad about my body since I was fat (about 10 years ago). I know that it will take time, and that I should look upon my body with amazement and love and reverence, as it recently brought forth life, etc., blah, blah, blah, shove it….

BUT – how I should feel and how I do feel are miles apart. I am not who I was 10 years ago. For one, I’m still 30 lbs lighter than I was when I met the architect (even with residual baby weight). Also – I swam 2000 yards this morning, and I couldn’t have done that 10 years ago.  Funny (maybe?) story. In February of 2003, the architect & I had been dating for about 4 months, and we did our first weekend away together. We went to Palm Desert (near Palm Springs) and stayed at a hot springs hotel and drove through Joshua Tree. Well, he saw a sign that announced a hike to an abandoned mine (he loves abandoned mines and old rusty stuff). 4 miles round trip. “Of course I can do that,” I assured him. And I did. And the next day I could barely walk to the hotel’s hot tub. Happy birthday to me! And that was the catalyst for my weight loss. I could totally do that hike now (I could probably, if pressed, run it, in fact).

SO – I am in much better shape than I was then. I am strong. And I will get my body back. I just wish I was one of those people who bounced back almost immediately. Alas!


Anyways – I am done complaining about my inability to drop the weight as fast as I put it on (although I guess, maybe I am losing at the same rate I gained…if you average it out – I should do a spreadsheet with trendlines to see).

Happy chub day! One more gratuitous pic of the baby to make you forget what a whiner I am!

I love walks with Mommy & Daddy (and the cat in the hat)


  1. I LOVE HIM. Do I say that every time?

    My darling daughter slept like a badass for 6 months and then it all ended abruptly. Now she wakes up 2-3 times a night and doesn’t go to bed before 9:30. 8:30 on a really good night, but then she’ll wake up an hour later and she won’t go to sleep without our fingers clutched tightly in her hands. When we try to pry the fingers loose, she wakes up and starts crying. And I can’t do the CIO thing either. I tried for 10 minutes once and I felt like a horrible mother the entire time. Plus she just cries louder and harder and then it’s even tougher to get her back to sleep. Sometimes a couple more ounces of milk helps her get back to sleep. I feel intuitively that she isn’t hungry, but she hasn’t had a growth spurt in a while, so I can’t rule it out. Which sucks because I used to be able to have a beer after she went to sleep and now I can’t.

    Ramble ramble ramble. You’re doing a great job though. keep it up. I LOVE HIM.

  2. ok, it may not make you FEEL any better, but how you are feeling is SO NORMAL. and it will get better. I promise.

    and pumping sucks ass. what kind of pump are you using? I found I could pump quicker and less painfully with a hand pump than with the industrial double pump, even pumping one breast at a time. worth a try maybe…I can honestly say I’d have nursed much longer if pumping was not required. eventually, I started nursing in the morning and at night, and just formula feeding during the day. it’s all good – do the best you can…

  3. Alisa

    Little dude is pretty darn cute.

    You know what I think…things are different and while it’s hard not to be all or nothing best thing is to do what you can (this you already know). You WILL get back to where you were! You are too determined not to get there.

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