One Month with Alvie Bean

Dear Alvie –

Yes, I’m still calling you Alvie. Occasionally, I do call you by the right name. Often, I call you Baby. Which goes with my preferred name for the architect – which is husband.

Today you are 1 month old. It’s hard to believe that an entire month has passed. This last month has been one of the hardest months of my life – actually, the last four months have been the hardest four months of my life.

Four months ago today, your grandpa was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme – a fancy name for brain cancer. We all hoped that he would get through treatment and have some good time left to spend with you – his first grandchild. As you probably know (or not, you are just a tiny baby, after all), that’s not how it worked out. Your grandpa died almost three weeks before you made your appearance.

And boy – what an appearance! Apparently you felt the need to bring the drama. That first week after you showed up is such a blur. For half of it, we were in the hospital – which was just weird. The second half, we were at home with your daddy & your grandma. It was so good to have grandma at home with us. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through those first days without her!

After grandma went home, daddy & I were on our own with you for a week, and we slowly got the hang of dressing you, and feeding you, and changing your diaper. We certainly get a lot of practice changing diapers, don’t we?

Week three was just you & me. You only made me cry once when I couldn’t get you to stop crying – and the minute daddy got home, you calmed right down.

And then – we were off to earn your wings. You & Daddy & I flew to South Dakota for your grandpa’s service and to spend more time with your grandma, and to meet your Auntie Liz and your honorary South Dakota aunties. It was a hard week for both of us. We spent an entire week away from Daddy, since he had to go back to work last week. We had to meet lots of people and get passed back and forth and admired.

You were so good, though! You had some fussy moments (more as the week went on), but you charmed everyone you met. One of the coolest moments was when we got to meet your Great, Great Uncle Bob! He was born in 1912 and will be 100 years old in July. You were born in 2012 – a hundred years separate you! Pretty awesome, right?

Every day I look at you and I am still amazed that I am not just a mommy, but your mommy. There are times that I look at you while you’re sleeping and I get tears in my eyes because I love you so much.

You’ve grown and changed so much already – you’re gaining weight like a champ & you sure like to show off your working kidneys by marking your territory on just about everyone! You love being in motion – planes, automobiles, your swing, or anyone who can keep moving!

I am so excited (and a little nervous) to find out what happens next. I know time is going to go by more quickly than I can imagine, but I plan on treasuring most of the moments (and finding the humor in those moments I can’t treasure). I hope you are flying as well today as we go home to daddy as you did 10 days ago.

I love you, little guy!

Mommy (aka the Milks Lady)



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