I am so up & down lately.
Last night was terrible. Due to a communication mix-up, the architect didn’t pick me up at work. By the time I finally got a hold of him & got home, it was nearly 7:30. We drove through Burgerville for dinner (oooh – fancy), and I got the white bean burger. I was positive I’d had it before, but when we got home the architect made me look it up on the internets (while I took the first couple bites – I knew it was safe).
Not safe. Ingredient #3: ‘shrooms. Who’s allergic to ‘shrooms? Me.
Apparently, I’d had the perfectly safe black bean burger previously.
So – two benedryl & a couple shots of albuterol later, I was trying to calm down my rapid heart beat while simultaneously trying not to throw up.
That was awesome.
All yesterday, I practiced walking with a little pressure on my heel, and by the end of the evening, what with being abandoned (accidentally) in the lobby of my building for a couple of hours & then having a massive allergic reaction, I was just done.
I had a total breakdown. My big toe is still completely numb, and although doctor said it was fine, and that feeling would gradually return, I can’t help but worry that something is wrong. I don’t want my toe to fall off. That would be so weird.
Finally – I pulled it together & took a shower, watched some Mythbusters, and went to bed.
The pain was BAD last night, though. I took some ibuprofen before bed (as is my custom), but woke up at about 1:30 in the worst pain I’ve had in over a month. I ended up taking some oxycodone just so I could stop crying.
People – benedryl, albuterol, ibuprofen & oxycodone in one night is a very….interesting…drug cocktail. I had some weird, crazy dreams! Really, really weird. Not in a good way, either.
Won’t do that again.
I feel better today – but am so ready to be done with this (3.5 weeks!). I want the numbness in my toe t0 go away, and I want to be able to put pressure on my heel without feeling like I’m going to fall down.
I am trying so hard to be all positive and stay upbeat & all that shit, but sometimes it’s just hard. I know that this is a very short period in the scheme of things, and that it’ll be over before I know it, and that my life is actually pretty damn good (elective surgery mostly covered by insurance? yeah, my life is hard.), but sometimes, even my positive attitude fails.
It doesn’t help that it’s dark when I wake up & dark almost by the time I get home most of the time now, either.
At least (bright side!) today is my last day of work this week, and it was much better than the two days last week. And, next weekend is my Spooktacular! And then, only a couple more weeks ’til the boot comes off. Maybe I can even run a mile by the end of the year. (Unless my big toe falls off, then the running might take a bit longer…)