Listening to Fear
Listening to Fear

Listening to Fear

So – my surgery is a week from tomorrow. Only seven days lie between me and the deliberate breaking of bones.

That is crazy. When I scheduled this surgery, it was so far away. And my foot has been feeling FINE (REALLY!) lately. Provided I don’t wear closed-toe shoes. Or if beagles don’t step on me. And if I sit down a lot.

Tomorrow, I have two pre-surgery appointments. I am preparing a list of questions for the surgeon. Some of those questions are:

  1. What kind of exercises can I do with my boot on to maintain a basic level of fitness?
  2. Will I be able to drive?
  3. How soon can I be fairly mobile? (I have a party to throw, after all)
  4. How much pain can I reasonably expect?
  5. Can you shave a little off the calves as long as you’re down there?  There is this pair of killer boots (seriously – I think I could actually kill someone with those heels) that I would love to be able to fit into – far, far in the future, of course.
  6. Can I borrow a wheel chair for the week following surgery? Otherwise, I might be hauled around town in a wheelbarrow (you may not want details).
  7. Local or general? Also, who will be my anesthesiologist?
  8. Do you promise not to horribly maul my foot so that I can never wear shoes again? (You’d be surprised how many people know someone to whom this has happened and feel compelled to tell me every detail of the surgery-gone-wrong.)
  9. What kind of pain medication am I going to get?
  10. What do you anticipate for a recovery timeline?

Are there any other questions I should ask?

I don’t mind telling you guys that I am getting nervous. If, by nervous, you mean scared.

I am so afraid that I am going to be in insane amounts of pain & will cry for five days. I keep trying to tell myself that I have a really high pain tolerance (example: the day I had emergency surgery, the only reason I went to the doctor at all was because I had an appointment already scheduled, and I didn’t mention the pain until after the full lady-bits exam). I actually still have about half of the pain pill prescription from that surgery left, because I didn’t need them (and I hate taking pills).

I am going to be fine, right?

Except that everyone keeps telling me (as if this is somehow helpful in any way) that foot surgeries are really painful, and that I should expect a lot of pain, and oh, by the way, have they mentioned the pain?

So – seriously. If, in the next 7 days, anyone mentions the extreme pain I should be anticipating post-surgery, I am reserving the right to help them feel extreme pain immediately. WITH A FIST IN THE FACE! Or something. Maybe I’ll just go for emotional pain infliction (I’m not really a violent person).

AND – if anyone comments on how much pain I will feel, I will delete your comment and BAN YOU from my blog. Somehow. And also inflict emotional pain. (You look fat in that outfit and you’re pretty stupid.) (Just practicing.)




  1. Emily

    Hmmm, I don’t know about the pain but I would plan to get yourself some really good shit to mask it. Maybe do some research about what works well to mask it and make them give it to you. Push back on them, that way at least you’ll have somewhat of a crutch and won’t worry about it as much. Also, tell them you’re super nervous about the surgery event and ask if they will prescribe valium for you to take beforehand. They did that w/my oral surgery and it was awesome. Have you taken it? It took a long time for it to “kick in” for me, so I really didn’t feel anything until well after the surgery (I was awake). Which made for an interesting 48 hours. I should not have been unsupervised! But that’s another peace of mind bit, right?

    You’ll do fine, you can get through whatever. Just don’t psyche yourself out!

  2. Hello stranger. Dude. Don’t worry so much. That’s what pain pills are for! I’d be more worried about having someone around for the first few days to wait on you hand a foot. Your husband is really clear about your expectations right?! Don’t worry!! Your foot will come out bigger and better. well, hopefully not bigger, but you know what I mean.

  3. You know, a few years back (going on 10 I suppose) I had my wisdom teeth out. Before I went in for the surgery lots of people told me how terrible the recovery would be. Several people told me that my oral surgeon was a terrible doctor. One of my friends actually said to me “Dr. X is a butcher.” I did not find that to be a particularly helpful comment, and really thought we all would have been better off if she’d kept it to herself (10 years ago and I still remember it and wonder why she thought that was a good/okay thing to say to someone shortly before surgery).

    As it turned out, the surgeon was great and I was pretty much recovered within a day or two.

    Not the same thing as your foot surgery I know, but just wanted to say that sometimes things aren’t as bad as we expect them to be. Though I totally understand your being scared. I would be too. But, for what it’s worth, I’m here thinking positive thoughts for you.

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