PORN!

I know, gentle readers – it has been too long. The stresses of the last couple of months (school! work! marathon training! crime spree [directed against me, not perpetrated by me]) took their toll, and I left you adrift in a shoeless world.

BUT! No more! Because I am completely selfish selfless, I bring you another episode of “help me pick my porn.” I know that there is nothing you like more than helping me pick out my new shoes that I am buying for myself as a reward for running 26.2 miles and attempting to destroy my feet. They NEED new shoes to know that they are truly appreciated. You don’t want my feet to be sad, do you?

It is fall, which, at this time of year, is my favorite season. (Come April, I will wax poetic about my love of spring and the upcoming sandal season. I am easy that way.)

Fall means sweaters. And soup. And pumpkins. And boots.  Definitely boots. I love boots, but unfortunately for me, my calves are calves of POWER, which doesn’t seem to help me out in any real-world way. They don’t make me stronger. Or faster. Or taller. Or anything useful. They do, however, prevent me from wearing knee-high boots. (I know they make “wide calf” boots, but have you seen them? They are not cute. I only do cute.) (Also, in reviewing boots, there seems to be a trend that involves creating false cankles. Why is this? Who looks for boots saying, “I just want my ankles to look wider than my foot, and, if possible, thicker than my actual calf?”)

SO – anyways – fun things that happen in fall footwear include the following.

The only size left is my size. But will they fit over my calves of monstrosity?

These are CUTE! And work appropriate! And they look so comfy

These are CUTE! And work appropriate! And they look so comfy

Also cute - and I love the detailing. The thicker heels are awesome, too.

Also cute - and I love the detailing. The thicker heels are awesome, too.

These arent black - SHOCKING! - but super cute. I love the little bow.

These aren't black - SHOCKING! - but super cute. I love the little bow.

I love Mary Janes

I love Mary Janes

So – which should I purchase?

#1 – Kenneth Cole Reaction Change of Heart Boot

#2 – Anne Klein Sweet Pea

#3 – Etienne Aigner Remmi

#4 – Pink Studio Alana

#5 – Tahari Fawn

I need your help, people! I cannot have all 5!

13 responses to “PORN!

  1. That’s just about all my favorite things about fall too! But I would have to add: my birthday (four days before Halloween) and of course Halloween itself. And those beautiful crisp, clear fall days where the sun is shining and the sky is blue and the air smells like fall.

    As for the shoes, I can’t wear heels (not even tiny ones — only clonkin’ wedges) so I must live vicariously through others. Normally it would be the boots hands down but I think they look too dainty in the foot and consequently would make your calves look huge. In that case, I really, really, really like the Anne Klein’s. I wish they had them in a flat! And that I had money!! *grin*

  2. I love the boots!! Total shoe porn!

  3. #2-the sweet pea-darling and also my fave flower. 🙂 Don’t trust the boots. I too have big calves (bigger than yours I’m sure) and have had many bad boot experiences which have sent me into the depths of depression and forced me to contemplate anorexia (which proably still wouldn’t make the boots fit). I must say all the shoes are cute, though!

  4. it’s about time we had some decent porn around here!

    got to be the boot. <3 Kenneth cole, you know that.

  5. I love the Anne Kleins. They make me wish I hadn’t gotten other brown tweedy work shoes recently… They also make me think I need a pair of black tweedy work shoes, although my wardrobe would say otherwise….

  6. I heart them all! (except for the ones with the bow and that’s only because they would make me look like i was just smuggled across the border if I wore them)

    You, on the other hand could totally pull them off!

    Yay for fall boots and sweaters and soup!

  7. Have you looked at any boots that have the wide top? I tried on a pair today and might be in love. . .

  8. I’m for the #4 – Pink Studio Alana’s! But we do live in Oregon so boots are always great.

    I have a pair that I bet would fit you and your strong, sexy calves! I think they are either NineWest or FrancoSarto. They have a lower heel since I don’t need to be a giant. Usually I think the low heeled boots are ugly but I really like mine (I should let you judge them though).

  9. Great poll. I’m a sucker for anything with a bow, but they aren’t as versitile as something black or brown.

  10. I’m torn between the boots and the little bow ones… just to break away from the black. Oooh… dilemmas of the modern age 🙂

  11. Well how many can you have? Because picking just one seems so sad…

    Ahem.

    I like the grey ones. (I typed ‘grey’ and spellchecker underlined it in red. So I changed to ‘gray’ for the spellchecker. But that looked wrong, so I changed back to ‘grey’. What can I say? I Am Canadian.)

    Also the boots.

    I have a similar issue with boots fitting over my calves, but I have good luck with Franco Sarto boots. They’re usually stretchy. Also, I find Franco Sarto shoes to be really comfy (you know, for shoes with heels and pointy toes).

  12. By grey ones I mean the Anne Klein’s. Just to be clear. The website calls them black. Maybe it’s my monitor. 🙂