The Corn Chronicles (Part 1)

So, you may or may not know that I’m a big gardener (as in my garden is big, not me) and this year, my big crops will be squashes (except zucchini, dammi!), tomatoes (tripled the number of plants this year) and corn.

I am a little obsessed with my corn. Every evening, rain or shine, I go outside to count the corn. As of last night, I had 52 corn plants. By this time next week, I will not have 52 plants, because some of them have to go. I do not have room for 52 full grown corns.

However, since I have 52 plants, and there are 26 letters in the alphabet, I decided that maybe they all need names starting with a different letter (26 boys & 26 girls). My father agreed wholeheartedly with this proposition, and so I have named one of my corns after him. (I have not named all of the others yet, but I can tell you the first 10 corns are named:

  1. Adam
  2. Brad
  3. Cody
  4. Darren
  5. Eric
  6. Fred
  7. Greg
  8. Howard
  9. Ichabod
  10. James

(Also, the first girl corn is Amy.)

Now, I thought that since I had named a corn after my father, he would probably want some updates on his little corn grandchild on a regular basis. And then I thought, why not share this information with the world? What could be more fascinating than a weekly slideshow of my corn? (Hey, Amalah did it. Admittedly, she used a fetus instead of a corn, but still….)

So here we are for corn update #1 – James:

James, as of last night, was 2.5 inches tall. He sleeps through the night now, and looks more like a blade of grass than the majestic corn stalk that he will become.

(My apologies for the poor photo quality – it was POURING.)

I know – the excitement never ends around here! (Let me know if you want me to name a corn after you – although no guarantees that your corn will make it through next week’s culling of the corn. James Corn will definitely get a pass.)

11 responses to “The Corn Chronicles (Part 1)

  1. i’m filled with envy right now b/c i kinda have a corn obsession. i love the stuff. i’ve read books that make me think i should hate corn and corn products, but f-that. corn rocks. my hubs has told me stories about growing corn b/c his dad was really into all that (knee high by the fourth of july). i think it’s great that you have 52 little bundles of corn goodness. i’m going to go bubba gump a list of ways i would eat said corn now…

    • I may have extra corn this fall & once I have a better idea of how much I’ll end up with, I’ll take corn reservations. (Just don’t add HFCS to your Bubba Gump corn list, and you’ll be fine! Corn is good, HFCS is bad.)

  2. i’ve got corn envy. i don’t even have my corn seeds in the ground yet. and down south, we have to put a soda fertilizer on the corn when it’s about 3 feet tall or it won’t develop ears. every year i try to grow corn, but it gets about 4 feet tall and dies off. i usually forget to soda my corn anyway. that could be why it never makes it.

  3. btw, how are the peas doing? my 4 yr old discovered today that she could pick pea pods off of the vines and eat the peas inside. she must have eaten 30 pods worth. it’s amazing. some of my peas are up to 4 ft high, and there are hundreds of pods growing now. it’s awesome.

  4. I’m a little corn-obsessed myself, being a Hoosier and all. Yellow, white, bi-color…you can’t beat Indiana sweet corn. (And don’t you think Carrie Corn is a great name?? 🙂 )

  5. OMg you are too funny!! I love it

  6. Wait, you named them ALL? Even the ones you’re going to… thin out next week? That would be a little traumatic for me. Don’t slip up and thin out little James!

  7. “He sleeps through the night now, and looks more like a blade of grass than the majestic corn stalk that he will become.” Bwa ha ha ha!!

    Cracked me up. Who knew corn could be funny? And since Carrie has put in a bid for the “C” cornchild, I’m thinking Meredith Corn would be nice. 😀

  8. oh man – these are the reasons I like you! That and I plan on “borrowing” some corn from you come harvest season 🙂

  9. The title of this post made me laugh so hard I had a hell of a time swallowing my swig of coffee.

    Can I please have an “Alisa” corn? If all of them survive and you’re up to your ears (pun intended) in corn this summer, we’ll take some! You should sell it, farmer’s market style to you neighbors.

  10. haha too cute! can’t wait to see you corns grow up into upstanding inviduals!!!