So – I have a dilemma. In December, as you may or may not remember (or care), I registered for the San Diego Rock ‘n’ Roll marathon.

I am training for it. I am committed to running a marathon this year.

There is only one small problem (hence, my dilemma).

The architect is still not employed as of today. And honestly, I’m not sure when he will be employed. I do not work full-time.

So – although we’re not in danger of losing our house anytime soon, there is some definite belt-tightening that has to happen.

It’s true that I could probably swing the San Diego trip by myself if the architect didn’t come along. However, there are a couple of problems with that scenario.

That’s his birthday weekend, and nothing says “Happy Birthday” like your wife going to San Diego by herself because you couldn’t afford the trip for the both of you, right?

Also, it’s my first marathon – and I really don’t want to cross the finish line without him there. He’s been my biggest supporter since I started running, and although he’s not a runner himself, I just can’t imagine finishing & not seeing him.

And so many other people who are doing the marathon are down there as couples, and it just kinda sucks to be the one non-couple person in the room, which is probably the lamest reason.

However, since all registrations are final, no transfers, no deferments, etc., I’d basically be taking a $130 loss on this. They did offer to send me a shirt 4-6 weeks after the marathon & I got a $15 off coupon for the Seattle full (so I could spend $200 to run one marathon & get two shirts).

I don’t know what to do. Should I just hold out & not make plans & see if it all works out? Plane tickets are already $350/person – and who knows which direction they’ll go. The one airline that I have enough frequent flier miles on to get a free ticket does not have any flights that would work for that trip.

Ideas? Counsel? Extra money just floating around?


      1. Eliza

        Are you kidding me??! He’s been supporting you all the way! If there’s a reasonable way for him to be there for your first marathon (and all of them after it!), then he should be there. And I think waiting a bit for a closer marathon and/or a better job situation is certainly reasonable. You’re not proposing putting it off forever or anything crazy like that.

  1. Alisa

    I totally understand not wanting to run without the architect, though I do think the couplely thing is a lame reason…there are lots of other single bloggers…that said, I totally get you wanting the architect there, I want Mr. Pi there and it’s not even my first marathon. He SHOULD be there.

    I found tix on southwest for $315, we’re probably going to go with those. On Kayak.com they had some other options for $326. It bugs me to know that I could fly to Sac for $49/one way and from Sac to SD for $49/one way but can’t fly PDX to SD for $100/one way. Blah!

    My advice…
    1. Hold out on the architect getting a job until prices for Seattle start increasing. (LAME they wouldn’t transfer your registration!)
    2. If he still is jobless, I would weigh all the Seattle costs (gas to get there, food, lodging, if applicable) against scrapping the Rock n Roll series all together and running Portland in the fall. (I have no idea what the reg fee is but lodging, transport and food would be nill.)

    Of course, I am hoping that the architect is employed (for more than just you being able to run in SD).

    That’s my advice. Not great advice but it’s all I got.

    P.S. My garmin said 11.20 miles in 11:45 avg with that first up hill mile at 13:40 (that was my slowest). All other uphill miles in the 12’s and all downhill miles sub-10:30.
    P.P.S. Did I mention you are the best running buddy ever??!!! Despite what happens with SD I will be there for your marathon, whichever one it is in 2009!

    1. If prices on Seattle didn’t go up after Friday, that would be the way to go – but it turns out that I have less than a week if I don’t want to end up spending waaaay more.

      No lodging costs in Seattle. Transportation would be 1.5 tanks of gas – maybe $50 if prices keep going up again. Just food & registration ($85). I really wanted to do two this year! I guess I could always do the Sauvie Island marathon on 7/4. It’s only $70!

  2. Could you drive down? It may be cheaper than buying two tickets. That’s what my mister and I decided for our wedding in Sept. It would cost us 800-1000 bucks to fly, but driving will be 400 max…

    1. still a HUGE drive!!! If I didn’t have such a limited time, that would definitely be an option. But, I only have 2 days off, and if the architect does get a job, he’ll not have much vacay, either….ACK!

      Are you driving through Portland on your way? We should have lunch!

  3. i think the plane ticket is the deal breaker. i know i would not have a problem if the wife deserted me on my birthday. but i don’t know how she would feel running to the finish line with nobody standing there. i am a superbly independent person, so i would have no problem running my first marathon alone. but that’s just my preference. if it bothers you, wait until he has gainful employment and expect to pay more for the second plane ticket.

  4. I totally understand where you’re coming from. I would also want to bail of My Gazelle couldn’t be there for me. It would be kind of lonely and gut-wrenching to finish such a long journey (on so many levels) and not have your main supporter there for you. Nah…not my idea of a good time.

    Personally, it would kill me to eat the $130, but I’d probably just suck it up and move on.

  5. hold out!!!!!!! Keep training and planning like you are going to do it. Last minute deals and flights are always available.

    I agree that I want my hubs there, so you should have that. I say don’t cancel on yourself yet, you still have a few months to see what will happen.

    1. The only thing that makes me want to decide now is that the Seattle marathon prices go up 2/28 – and the other summer marathon I’m looking at has a 2,000 participant cap, and I know I want to do a summer marathon – and don’t want to miss the boat on my 2nd choice. I also don’t want to do two within a month of each other! (I am NOT a marathon maniac!)

  6. Hold out and see what happens. You never know what will happen. It’s in May, right? That’s a long way away.

    The cap wasn’t there when I PR’d in PDX and it made me cry even harder than I was already crying. It’s kind of an emotional day – you’d want your “support staff” there. (**no pun, but it could be).

    1. I totally get the ‘hold out’ but am afraid if I wait for this one, and it doesn’t work out, then I’ll miss out on an alternative, and spend another year NOT running a marathon. And dammit! 2009 is my marathon year!

      The more I think about it, the more it’s clear that I can’t run a marathon without the architect there at the end. I’m sure everything will work out for the best.

  7. i’d start stripping as a side business. i cant believe i just said that.
    you can stay at our house, we’re an hour from san diego. when you get off the 5 freeway, we’re the 2nd cardboard box from the right of the gang tagged stop sign.

  8. margaret

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of the world’s greatest people. i routinely miss you and can’t wait for a day when we can play scrabble and go black heel shopping together. seriously, amy. it’s been too long.

    (oh and i think you should forego the san diego thing unless brad finds employment before then . . . )

    1. I miss you terribly! I can’t believe that you want to have a career, and a life, and all that, instead of coming to live near me so we can drink rum & play scrabble & buy shoes together. DAMN YOU!

      Maybe when things turn around again for us financially, we can meet somewhere interesting (i.e. somewhere international that I’ve never been, which is most of the international world) and play scrabble.

  9. ok i see both sides of this based on your reply… so here is one thought…if you can’t do San Diego…maybe just maybe this summer would be a great time to enjoy some half marathons? I say this for a couple reasons…running a marathon in the summer is HOT and hence harder…plus if you have to decide right now you could end up with multiple marathons and not feel ready for that much….so is there some fun runs this summer that you could use to work on pace? and maybe some fall marathons that have caught your eye?

    PS – No martini yet, but i’m close

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