Before & After

I’ve been saying for awhile that I’d post before & after pics of my weightloss – but I haven’t truly felt like an after. It’s only just today, as I texted HTC to tell her I wasn’t coming to WW that I realized that although I haven’t reached my eventual goal weight, I am an after.

I have all the tools that I need to get to where I need to be.  As I was eating lunch today, I concentrated on eating slowly & paying attention to how I felt.

I ate a few bites past my “full” place (couscous salad & potato dill soup – yum), but I didn’t clean my plate. I need to work on paying attention to what I want to eat, when I want to eat it, and how I feel. I can do this – and I can do it better than trying to figure out how many points I have left for my glass of wine and slice of cheese.

So – I am totally an after. I know myself, and although we don’t don’t always get along perfectly, I know enough about me to make it work most of the time.

I know that I’m a lot more sensitive to being over-full than I used to be. A few years ago, when I looked like this:

(I included a normal-sized woman for comparison – I have no idea who she is, but was on the camping trip I was on when this picture was snapped. I edited out all the people whose names I actually know, but don’t care about the privacy of the stranger, apparently.)

I could eat an entire pizza in one sitting – and at least once a month, I did so. It was usually on a Friday night – and I deserved it for surviving a hard week.

Last Tuesday, the architect picked up a pizza, and I ate half of it (i.e. WAAAY more than I usually eat, which is 1/4 of a pizza – or 2 slices). And you know what? I felt like CRAP after – even the joy of Obama’s landslide election couldn’t dull the pain of a too-full belly (also, the pizza totally interfered with my wine drinking, leading to an embarrassingly low alcohol consumption for an election night – remind me sometime to tell you the “running out of wine” story from 2004).

Of course, now I look like this:

(Aren’t we the cutest?)

Confession – I just wanted to publish that photo – it’s not a very good representation of how much weight I’ve lost – for that, this might be a BIT better – I don’t really have many recent full-length photos of me where I’m not wearing tons of clothing (also – please to ignore the socks with Tevas [mortal sin] and the “I’ve been camping for 3 days hair”):

Of course, I do want to lose another 15-20 lbs. I’d like to be at a healthy BMI. There is a history of diabetes in my family, and I know that being at a healthy weight will be instrumental in preventing it. But more than preventing diabetes, I just want to be strong enough to keep doing what I enjoy doing well into my old age. IN addition to having a family history of diabetes, I also have a family history of longevity, and I’d rather be the one who still lives (mostly) on my own at 93, than the one in a nursing home before age 90 needing help to go to the bathroom. I could, conceivably, be only 1/3 of the way into my life, and if I want this body to work in another 60 years (I have a great uncle who’s 96 – and although definitely getting a little frail – he keeps trying help other people & breaking his hip – he’s in pretty damn good shape for an almost centenarian), I need to take good care of it now.

And that means? In addition to my running, I need to concentrate on strength training. My quads are ridiculously weak, and I finally have had someone (my PT) confirm that I am just not well balanced (physically).

So – in addition to the week’s workout goals I listed on Friday, I would like to add this:

I will do my damn PT exercises every freaking day. I will do squats. I will do lunges. I will hopscotch in place in front of a mirror. I will do bridge lifts on my ball. I will use the stupid stretchy band thing. And for good measure – I will do a minimum of 10 (military-style) push-ups every day (I say 10, ’cause that’ the maximum I can do right now in a row without using my knees).

Because, even though I know I’ll never look like this again (16 years does interesting things to body shape that it’s next to impossible to erase), I’d like to look as good as I can while still being as healthy as I want to be (without giving up full-fat cheese):

(*sigh* wish I’d known how attractive I was when this was taken. I kinda figured I was pretty lucky if guys asked me out. Kinda explains that late high school/early college romance mistake. Also, check out how serious I am about my hotness. And god, I miss bodysuits.)

AND, since my ploy to quit the gym today didn’t work (they offered me a $10/month reduction in fees, which I took), I need to be hitting the gym at least once a week. Crazy weights this week – here I come!

Recent Comments

  • aron
    November 10, 2008 - 1:50 pm ·

    wow i had no idea!! you have come a long way and should be so proud of yourself! you are doing awesome and look amazing – CONGRATS!!!

    • gazelle
      November 11, 2008 - 12:43 pm ·

      Thank you – sometimes when I get frustrated with where I’m at, I find it helpful to go back & see where I started – that’s when I realize how well I’ve done.

  • Sarah
    November 10, 2008 - 2:16 pm ·

    I have so many things to say right now – number one being the picture of you and the Architect – LOVELY! You two are adorable. Good call on posting that picture. Also, I don’t even recognize you in the before – and you are totally rocking the after! Good job!

    • gazelle
      November 11, 2008 - 11:12 am ·

      We are adorable, aren’t we? I occasionally have trouble believing that was me (and honestly, I didn’t always look quite that bad – most of the time I dressed appropriately for my body size & at the very least, looked not heinous).

  • P.O.M.
    November 10, 2008 - 2:33 pm ·

    Holy Shiz. Girl I knew you’d lost weight, but didn’t realize how dramatic it was. You look great and should definately be proud.

    • gazelle
      November 11, 2008 - 12:42 pm ·

      Thank you! I often forget how dramatic the change was – in my head, I’ve pretty much been a size 12 for years – even when I was a size 20, and even now when I’m a size 4/6. I have a very steady body image dysmorphia.

  • Alisa
    November 10, 2008 - 3:16 pm ·

    Wow! You look absolutely fantastic. I keep telling you I don’t think you need to lose any more weight but I understand wanting to hit a goal and feel your healthiest (bad grammar there).

    You and the architect are super cute in that pic.

    I’m with you on going back to strength training…I need it big time.

    • gazelle
      November 11, 2008 - 11:22 am ·

      I am working on refining my workout schedule, but I’m thinking of adding in crazy weights on Monday mornings before PT instead of doing it early Thursday mornings.

      Do you think it would be crazy to do this:
      Saturday – yoga & light cardio (elliptical)
      Sunday – long run
      Monday – weights & hill run
      Tuesday – Shred circuit
      Wednesday – easy run
      Thursday – Shred circuit
      Friday – easy run

      I really want to do Hill runs – and Mondays are a great day for me to incorporate those – I’m thinking of hitting Forest Park early afternoons & NOT yoga-ing – unless I’m more done in by the long run & need more active rest…..

      Now that I’ve typed that all out, my Sunday/Monday schedule does seem a bit insane. Apparently need more revising.

  • Carolina John
    November 10, 2008 - 3:26 pm ·

    1. You are absolutely adorable! be proud of what you’ve lost.

    2. I’m not the only one who can publicly admit to wearing socks with sandals? that’s good to know. watch your shoe porn.

    3. My wife lost over 80 lbs on WW and she has a hard time talking about it. Since you went through quite a transformation too, it’s ok to feel the same way

    4. I decided to go with “through thick and thin” on the inside of her wedding band. appropriate, yes. your architect should do the same.

    • gazelle
      November 11, 2008 - 10:24 am ·

      Your wedding band inscription is AWESOME – and much less geeky than my suggestion. 🙂

      As for the socks & sandals? It’s a terrible thing to do, and I would only do it while camping. Wearing socks & sandals in the general public is a mortal sin. 😉

  • Bradley
    November 10, 2008 - 4:46 pm ·

    I don’t remember you ever looking like that first pic (not the 16 year old one cuz hon that’s how I see you still) but that very first pick you know with the ‘average’ girl .. but regardless if I remember seeing you like that, that is great and you look faboo in your camping hair.

    • gazelle
      November 11, 2008 - 9:29 am ·

      That pic was taken 2 weeks before I met the architect – so I know you saw me looking like that 🙂 But thanks for not remembering.

  • Jen
    November 10, 2008 - 5:31 pm ·

    Wow, amazing pictures. You look incredible! Congrats on improving your health and your self-confidence, you look so healthy and happy now. 🙂

    The teenage pic is too cute too- I love the bodysuit and the bad ass look. I agree that the years just plain change things physically- but that’s not a bad thing. You look better than ever IMO. 🙂

    • gazelle
      November 11, 2008 - 12:48 pm ·

      Thank you – I’m definitely a LOT healthier – and that makes me pretty darn happy.

      I was so bad when I was 16, and although I don’t want to completely trade bodies with 16-year-old me, I wouldn’t mind the smaller boobs I had then.

  • auntie
    November 10, 2008 - 5:59 pm ·

    well…darn it, i can’t see the pics for some reason! so for now, i’ll just go with what everyone else said about you looking really great now and how you and the architect are super cute in that picture. i know it doesn’t mean a whole lot at the moment, but when i can see the pics, i’m sure i will totally have my own opinions.

  • michelle
    November 10, 2008 - 6:04 pm ·

    Oh my goodness, i think i love you!!!

    Really, you are so pretty and a definite after!!! You rock the skinny look my friend!!! Way to go and all that!!!

    Run to me so we can run together!!!


  • MizFit
    November 11, 2008 - 3:03 am ·

    you SO LOOK WONDERFUL (and love that you either finally posted pics or Ima Mo’ron here just never saw them).

    Id adore a guest post some day—more info on your story…just if you ever find you have the time.


    • gazelle
      November 11, 2008 - 9:43 am ·

      I would love to provide a guest post for you! That would be awesome.

      And thanks for the compliment. I rarely post photos of myself, because I have so few – the architect is a wonderful photographer, but we don’t have too many ‘acceptable’ pics of me.

  • Joanna
    November 11, 2008 - 7:11 am ·

    Totally inspiring! I am just starting out on my weight loss journey so awesome to see the before and after of you. Gives me hope!

  • auntie
    November 11, 2008 - 7:39 am ·

    the computer at work is cooperating more than my home computer was last night so i can finally see your pictures!

    Wow – you really did some workin’ out, girl! Congrats on being an “after”!!

  • Spring
    November 11, 2008 - 8:42 am ·

    Impressive Transformation!!!!!! Wow! You look GREAT! Congratulations!

    And thanks for posting pics so we could enjoy your victory with you.

  • margaret
    November 12, 2008 - 5:45 am ·

    you and “the architect” really are the cutest! your hair looks great!

    (as does the rest of you, obvs)