I was laying in bed last night feeling very old. I have been out of high school for 13 years, out of college for 9, and am now almost 31. Also, my hands looked really veiny last night, which convinced me that I was becoming increasingly decrepit looking and that it was only a matter of time before my husband (who is, after all, only 7 years older than me) leaves me for a much younger architectural intern or something.
I’m feeling a bit more positive today, even though I went to WW and my weight was up .2 lbs. You might scoff at my immediate depression, because after all, .2 is not very much, especially the day after New Year’s Day. However, when you consider that I have been at the same weight since Halloween (give or take .6 lbs) you might begin to see my frustration. I am still a whopping 12 lbs over the top of my healthy weight range. And, although I am a size 4/6, and can safely (and attractively) wear my size 28 jeans.
Also, with the new skinniness of me, I am finding that the old paranoia is still here. When I talk about running with a guy at work, I’m fairly certain he is mocking me inside, saying things like, “Yeah, right a cow like you is going to run a 15K” even though his outside voice said, “I did that race last year, it was awesome.” And when I have a slice of pizza at lunch, I know that the guy I ordered the pizza from is thinking that I should probably just stick to a salad and maybe just a carrot stick. It’s weird. I don’t remember being this paranoid about what I ate when I was heavier. One of my resolutions should have been to get over myself.
Anyhoo–on to the non-self-obessed paranoia. Monday evening, I worked later than I intended, and then went and had a martini with a co-worker and her friend. I also made a pit-stop at Nordstrom’s to return a couple of things that desperately needed to be returned (did I tell you the story of the $50 underwear).
Then, I went home and the architect took me out to dinner at Roux, where I had a delicious rabbit and another martini. Then, we went home, drank wine and watched TV. He woke me up in time to toast in the New Year, and then we both crashed.
Yesterday I did nothing. I watched many episodes of Angel. (Because I own all 5 seasons on DVD now, did you know? Isn’t it so cool?) I played some fun solitaire games and knitted. Life was very relaxing.
Last weekend, we (and by we, I really mean the architect, although I did help) finished laying the hardwood floors. All that’s left is transition strips and 2 doorways. And then hanging the new front door. Oh, and putting in new baseboard trim. And then I have to re-upholster the dining room chairs & refinish the chairs & table. And we should get some bar stools. And then, the curb cut & driveway. Later, a garage. And I’d really like new countertops and a new microwave, and maybe new cabinets. And the upstairs bathroom really needs to be remodeled. And the list goes on and on and on.
Friday, my parents are coming. I am very exciting because
they are bringing presents I miss them and love them very much. I am leaving the tree up until Sunday just for the festivity. And also because I love trees.
I am very much looking forward to 2008. Many people are visiting – my parents, the architect’s parents, my friend Maida & family, my friends Steph & Joe, my sister, hopefully my friends Sue & Alan (whether or not they know it), and in my wildest dreams, my friend Brad.
So – Happy New Year! I hope that it is your best year ever, and that your hands don’t look all veiny in the dim light of your bedside lamp.