Random Monday Observations

I walk to and from work most days. Both for the exercise and for the savings. The best part of the walking is the chance to see so many things and people and to be able to write my observations down without having to pull over or cause an accident.

When something hits me, I just click on my pen (I walk carrying a notebook – just in case) and write it down. Sometimes I try to write and walk at the same time, and believe it or not, that doesn’t work out so well for me.

Things I’ve written down in the last couple of weeks:

  • Yelling “I’m not worked up!” into your cell phone is a good sign that you’re delusional.
  • I love it when Lexus drivers get pissed off at other Lexus drivers.
  • Three guys smoking a hookah on a condo patio is something you’d never see in South Dakota.
  • That jogger looks exactly like the “cat” on Red Dwarf.
  • Does anyone else confuse the Christian Scientists and the Scientologists?
  • This shirt scares Jehovah’s Witnesses, which got me out of awkwardly refusing a copy of The Watchtower.
  • A poster, sporting a picture of a body outline surrounded by crime scene tape that reads: “Change your locks – It’s not worth the risk” confuses me. Are they saying that if I don’t periodically change my locks that I will be murdered? How will changing my locks protect me from random break-ins? Is the fact that this poster is on the door of a locksmith’s business in any way relevant?
  • I was not surprised that the bumper sticker reading: “A man with a gun is a citizen/A man without a gun is a subject” was accompanied by at least six other bumper stickers celebrating the Marine life.
  • With gas prices being the way they are ($3.28/gallon is the cheapest I’ve seen in days), how much would you have to pay a gas station in Santa Monica to shut down between 7 AM and 6 PM so you could park your filming equipment there?

I have so many comments for so many blogs, especially for the blogger that came from Susie Sunshine to see my boobs…but since Blogger was down all last week, I haven’t commented on anyone.

I had a pretty good weekend. Jogged and biked, so that was all healthy. Then I had to hang out with old pretentious wealthy people for 3 hours yesterday. I was the only person under sixty. I survived hearing about people’s travel plans (Are you going to Italy this summer? I was there last week, and it was so beautiful, that I have to return next week. Would you like to stay with us in our villa? Or if you’re in [other European country] in August, you’re welcome to join us at our castle) by drinking of the lovely very expensive wine.

Why do I always spend so much money at Target? And why don’t they have women’s denim jeans? They had jeans for Juniors. And maternity jeans. And denim shorts & capris. But no jeans in normal sizes. The men’s department had lots of jeans. I was so upset, because I need new jeans. Jeans that fit. Because my jeans? Are waaaay too big. However, I did get backup shoes for my friend’s wedding. Ones that are less…stiletto-y…they are cheaper, but still very cute. I would love to link to them, but apparently Target.com doesn’t want you to know they exist. Sorry. Maybe I’ll post a picture some time. Maybe not.

So, that was long. And random. And beyond exhaustive.

And, because I love reading advice columns, almost as much as I love reading celebrity gossip, I will leave with this note, confidential to my Portland readers.

The new apartment is in NE Portland, not close in, but close to the NE/SE border and inside the 205 area. As I’m not actually a Portlander yet, I’m not sure if I said that right. Apparently, you can’t actually live in Powell’s, so we had to go with option #2.

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