Stupid Liquor Stores and other tales of woe

There is a liquor store between where I work and where I live. I have never been to the liquor store, but a few weeks ago, I noticed signs up in the windows: “Going out of business!” “Everything reduced 60%” “Free martini with purchase” (okay, I kinda made up that last one, but you get my point).

So, yesterday, I decided to go to the liquor store on my way home from work (I was walking, because I like to walk sometimes). And guess what?

The liquor store was closed. L No 60% off liquor for me. No free martinis. It was not only closed, it was boarded up, so I couldn’t even peek in to see if a stray bottle of Bombay Sapphire had escaped and was hiding in a corner, waiting for me.

I was really, really sad.

So, I kept walking. Sadly. And then? Rudeness happened.

I hate it when I’m walking on the sidewalk (apparently my clumsy nature makes walking in the streets of LA less than advisable), and I’m alone, and two people who are together are walking towards you, and they look at you, and make eye contact with you, but do not, in any way, shift their positions on the sidewalk so that you are forced to either:

a) run into them
b) step off the sidewalk (and sometimes into the street, or a hole, or a construction site).

I always mean to just run into them, but at the last second, I always chicken out and step off the sidewalk.

also, do you ever try to look in the rear view mirror to see what some hottie behind you is doing, ‘cause you refused to look at them when you went by in case he noticed you noticing, only to realize that you’re walking and you don’t have a fucking rear view mirror? nope, me neither.)

One last thing that pisses me off. I don’t get Monday off work. This is America! I deserve vacations. and, umm…also I want to honor this country’s veterans by recovering from a hangover and possibly barbecuing some Boca Burgers or something.

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