Every once in a while, when I think off all the things I’m planning on doing in the next twelve months, I feel so overwhelmed &; almost panicked.

Most days, I can step back & look at it in tiny pieces, but sometimes, like right now, I just can’t. My heart is beating too fast & I feel like a few blood vessels in my forehead are on the verge of popping out.

  1. find new apartment
  2. find new job
  3. move to portland
  4. get married
  5. have stupid party
  6. get a real estate agent
  7. look at houses
  8. get home loan approved
  9. figure out what the hell we’re doing
  10. apply for grad school
  11. buy house
  12. move into house
  13. freak out about owning house
  14. start grad school (okay – this one isn’t within the next year, but is within the next 18 months, so I think it counts)

that’s on top of the regular stuff…
trying to remember to breathe
breathing is good breathing would prevent those black spots from dancing in front of my eyes.
is my heart supposed to beating in my throat?
okay, breathing now. that’s a bit better.

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