Monthly Archives: March 2015

Three Things Thursday – Sadface edition

1. We have entered that time of the year that is budget season. I was so sure I was ahead of the game this year. And then I opened one of the many source spreadsheets that I use and found that in fact, all the work I’d done earlier this week is missing. Did I not save? That seems unlikely. WHERE ARE YOU BUDGET NUMBERS?

This is how I feel about that.

This is how I feel about that.


2. As I was leaving for work, my phone notified me that my friend Cromer had shared a post from Terry Pratchett. This did not surprise me, as that has happened before. In fact, Cromer is the person who first introduced me to Pratchett and therefore is responsible for the sheer amount of money I have spent attempting to own various pieces of Discworld. When I got out of my car I went to see what new and exciting news there was from Sir Pratchett.

It was a death announcement.

It is not terribly unexpected. Sir Pratchett had Alzheimer’s and last year had to pull out of public appearances due to the progression of the disease. But still. (I read Still Alice last week and that made me ugly cry into my Friday night beer. I spent Saturday at a conference where many of the speakers talked about Alzheimer’s and vascular dementia. And this is real life. Sadness.)

I love the worlds created by Sir Pratchett, but I will always have a top spot reserved for my first introduction to his (and to Neil Gaiman’s) writing.

I don’t know where this came from and I don’t care. Someone make this happen. But maybe Hiddleston and Tennant?


3. I feel a little drained today. A book I’m listening to said that (and I’m totally going to screw up this quote) “everyone has a graveyard inside them. For most people it’s filled with friends and family.” For some reason this really is kicking me in the feels today. (It went on to say that military people, especially special ops peeps, have friends and enemies, and occasionally innocent bystanders in theirs.  This is not my typical genre, but ummm…Luke Daniels is my favorite and I would listen to him read the phone book.) I am tired (Bean is STILL NOT SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! Does anyone want a three-year-old?) and sore (had a personal training appt at my new gym last night and apparently my right hip is an asshat) and anxious (stress + lack o’ sleep + not picking up that refill for oh…three weeks….) and I am running out of emotional spoons.

I need a couple days to recharge. I’m sure there are other people out there who need nearly complete solitude to get back to themselves. So those of you with families (I love my architect and my Bean!) how do you make that work? Do you just keep on trucking and ignore the missing pieces? Or do you take that time and ignore the guilt because it’s what you need to be an effective partner and parent? (I have a week off in early May and am trying to decide what to do with myself.)


Crowd Sourcing for Parenting Advice

Look at this face. LOOK AT IT!


Does this look like the face of evil to you?

Well it is!

I am so tired, y’all. SO TIRED.

Small devil child will not sleep. He will not fall asleep and he will not stay asleep. Bedtime has devolved into a 45 minute- 1 hour period of hysteria and excuses (“I have to go potty,” “I don’t feel well,” “I need water,” “There’s something scawy”) and crying (“I cwying right now, Mommy. Look at my tears!”) until I give in and let Alvie fall asleep lying next to me on the couch (or alternatively the architect gives in and lies down next to him in his [the Bean’s] room).

That’s bad enough. Nothing makes you feel awesome like running up the stairs at periodically longer intervals to reassure your hysterical child that the smoke detector is not looking at you, and NO it didn’t beep last night, that was a couple of months ago and oh my god why don’t you, the almost three-year-old, have a better sense of the passage of time????

Ahem. Where was I?

Oh yes, bed time. We have a routine. We do not vary the routine. Everyone knows the routine. It is good.

We’ve tried stopping his Zyrtec at night, moving bedtime earlier, moving it later, and chloroform (j/k! we haven’t tried that. Yet.)

He is calm and happy until the minute we leave his room. We’ve tried soothing, rocking, singing, crying for 15 minute intervals before we go to soothe, rock, sing.

Nothing. NOTHING. Except for having the baby-sitter put him to bed. That worked like magic.

Finally, he falls asleep, sometime after 9, usually (i.e. a full 90+ minutes after we initiate bedtime).

And then? He wakes up a minimum of three times/night. He is not easily soothed back to sleep. He is not having unwaking night terrors. Generally the first two times we can get him to fall back asleep in his own bed, but the third time (between 3:30-4 am usually) nothing will convince him that it’s sleep time and he begs (“Mommy, there’s something scawy. Mommy I need you. Mommy, pwease let me sleep in the big bed with you and daddy. I need you.”) until I give in to come to our bed. Where he thrashes a bit and then falls asleep.

the sweetest face

This is obviously not good for him. He’s not getting enough sleep. He’s terrified of going to sleep.

We’ve changed the smoke detector batteries with him, covered the blinking lights with tape (those lights are “scawy”) and talked about how smoke detectors are good and helpers and the house is not on fire, and neither is your school and we’re not going to burn up, seriously!

Do you know who else this isn’t good for?


I also need sleep. I love sleep. Sleep is my second best friend (next to books; and sometimes it is hard to be friends with both at the same time).

Also, Bean seems to have an impeccable instinct for freaking out when I am in the deepest sleep possible.

I’m sure this is also not good for the architect, but as he is (a) not here right now to ask about it and (b) not the blogger who runs this page, we’ll just pretend he likes it. JUST KIDDING! This is terrible for everyone.


So, oh wise internets, tell me how to fix this? Should I just ship him off to military preschool? Sell him to the carnival? (Give him to circus folk?)

I just want everyone to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

I feel like this today

I missed my morning run, which means I have to run at lunch and miss yoga. My right eyelid has been twitching for about 72 hours.

Someone tell me how to fix it, short of removing the smoke detector from his room, which…no.

Also, send coffee.


The Good Sore

That is how I feel today.

I am IN TRAINING. (For life, motherfuckers! Ha!)

Umm, I mean I’m in triathlon training. Now. Due to February illnesses (mine, the Bean’s, and the architect’s), February was kind of a lazy month. Until 2/25.

I worked out more hours between 2/25-3/1 than in the previous twenty days combined.

And, fortunately for you (ha ha ha), I documented this.

2/27 - first Master swim EVER. 1650 yards.

2/27 – first Master swim EVER. 1650 yards.\

2/28 - four mile run, Leif Erickson trail, 11:30 avg pace.

2/28 – four mile run, Leif Erickson trail, 11:30 avg pace.

3/1 - my nemesis, the bike. 8.5 miles in 46 minutes. It was windy, but this is where I have the most work.

3/1 – my nemesis, the bike. 8.5 miles in 46 minutes. It was windy, but this is where I have the most work.


I am ROCKING today’s plans. (It’s rest day.)

I will climb a minimum of 20 flights of stairs today, though. That is a thing at work.

My coach has me biking three times/week now, running twice, and swimming once as I work on my fitness base. I’m not worried about the running or swimming. It’s the bike (the damn bike) that scares me.

The other goal this week is to stop procrastinating and finish the damn book. I sat in front of Scrivener for hours all weekend and wrote zero words. ZERO.

Oh, and to keep up my average of a book a day for my research project with Cat “Savage Thunder” the Magnificent.

At some point, I need to work harder on my Swedish lessons, too.

I should probably try to keep my family fed and watered and played with. I need to find a system where I can make a week’s worth of dinner (prep at the least) on the weekends. A system that involves lots of hidden vegetables and foods that my kid will eat.

I need to stop typing and start doing.

(I also need Alvie to start sleeping through the night IN HIS OWN BED, NO THE SMOKE DETECTOR IS NOT LOOKING AT YOU! again.)

I may need more coffee.