Sartorially Challenged

Do you ever get to work & then catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and think, “Oh, honey, no!”

Yeah…I’d really like to say that’s never happened to me. Or at least be able to blame it on oversleeping & running late & just grabbing the first things in my closet.

But the truth is, I usually pick out my clothes the night before so I don’t wake the architect in the morning by opening & closing drawers. So I picked out Tuesday’s outfit when wide awake & with plenty of time to think about what it was going to look like.

I gave my fourth speech at Toastmasters on Tuesday, so I wanted to look fancy. Or at least professional.  (You guys! I had a drawing on the white board for my speech! And it was so awesome. Unfortunately, I forgot to take a picture of it, but fortunately for you, I have recreated it in Photoshop. I am a GIVER!!!!)

I added the labels for you, just in case, for SOME REASON, you couldn't decipher the various components.

This is awesome, right?  You are jealous of my mad drawing skillz.  (This is, by the way, an illustration of a rain garden.)

 

ANYWAYS – so, I got to work, all ready to speechify (and do work) and then, I saw myself.

 

Red shoes (as long as I’m being honest, I’ll tell you that they were clogs).

Grey tights with an argyle pattern up the outsides of my legs.

Black & white tweed skirt; knee-lengthy with a little flare.

Purple sweater.

It was a LOT of look.

I love shoes (I know, right? SHOCKING!), but find it hard to actually put together professional looking outfits on my own.  I need a stylist. And a larger shopping budget. Perhaps both.

I think what I really need is either a) a place where I can wear jeans to work every day or b) a place with a uniform. Like a convent or something, but without the religion & celibacy. And without the poverty. And probably without the obedience. I’m not good at that.

Does anyone else have this problem? Is it just me? Has anyone ever noticed that I need a “What Not to Wear” intervention?

 

 

5 responses to “Sartorially Challenged

  1. This made me laugh! We all have those days. Yesterday I was wearing brown—a LOT of shades of shades of brown. Defintiely could have used a stylist and a bigger shopping budget =)–but hell what woman doesn’t need those two things.

    • I’ve done that before – although usually with green. Why wouldn’t 11 shades of green look good together, right?

  2. You need to work in a library where anything goes, sartorially. I wear jeans and clogs WITH PAINT ON THEM every single day. Nobody bats an eye.

    • But do you get time to draw amaze-balls pictures with Photoshop? 🙂

      (Actually – can you get me a job at the library? I would like to work 4 days a week & make lots of money, please.) (Or, you know, make lots of money & work anywhere from 1-4 days. If they only need me for 3, but still want to pay me lots, I could do that. I am a giver.)

  3. I have definitely had those days. Not fun.