Taper Madness

So – when other people started talking about they way they felt during taper, I dismissed it. I knew I’d be fine. After all, I’m not a marathoner (yet), and I’m actually RELIEVED to taper – no more multiple hour runs for a couple of weeks.

Oh my god, y’all. I’m not sure if this is the alleged taper madness that is making me type in a southern dialect AND WANT TO USE ALL CAPS ALONG WITH ALL OTHER FORMS OF OBNOXIOUS FORMATTING OPTIONS but I am a wreck.

I am pretty sure that

  1. I did not run enough miles to run a marathon
  2. I did not run fast enough to finish a marathon
  3. That twinge I felt just now? In my knee? Probably fatal.
  4. What the hell is wrong with my feet? Why do they hurt?
  5. I don’t want to run today. *whine*
  6. Dammit, I want to run today, why can’t I run today?
  7. Does my back hurt? Did I pull a muscle?
  8. Am I going to miss my plane? What if I miss my plane? Oh my god, I’m going to miss my plane!
  9. I won’t be able to finish. Not on just one 20 miler.
  10. I will probably die.

So, am I crazy? Or is this what you seasoned marathoners were talking about? Or both?

ACK!