You know, I really hadn’t fallen in quite a while

But, that all changed this morning.

The architect had to leave at obscene o’clock in the morning for a day trip to Seattle (he does that every 2 weeks or so).  I stayed in bed.  Sleeping.  At about 6:15 or so, I woke up from a dream that one of our (7!) smoke detectors was beeping the beep of a dead battery.  And guess what?  The hall smoke detector was beeping.

I was not at my sharpest.  I went into the guest room where we usually have a folding chair – but couldn’t find it.  So, I found instead a rectangular milk crate.  It looks like this:

I stood it up on one end, so I could reach the ceiling.  Did I hop up on the supported side?  Ha ha ha – why would I do that?

I hopped up on the non-supported side and reached for the smoke detector.  The crate did an exciting flip (Olympic calibur, people).  I was not ready for the flip, so I did not leap up all crouching tiger-like, pause in the air, and wait for it to land before alighting gracefully.  No, instead, I decided to try flying.  It didn’t so much work.

I landed on the crate.  Actually, more accurately, I did a belly flop onto the crate.  It was very exciting.  Except one of my toes was caught in the little squares.

I laid their for awhile, trying to decide if I was dead, and if not, how I would notify the ambulance that I might need assistance.  It occurred to me that I would either have to get up and deal with it, get up & find the phone so I could call for help, or lay their for at least 12 hours waiting for the architect to get home (which may lead to being eaten by starving kitties).  And I kinda had to pee.  Also – the smoke detector?  Still fucking beeping (the cats – not impressed).

So, I got up.  I went downstairs & got the step ladder & my cell phone.  I took the battery out of the damn smoke detector.  It beeped away.  I pulled it out of the ceiling.  Still beeping.  I couldn’t find any 9V batteries (we’d used them replacing smoke detector batteries – this was the only one not done).  So, I made a few phone calls (to work – not coming in; to a friend – hey can you grab my running stuff from work; to another friend – hey can you do this stuff for me at work today), took a LOT of ibuprofen, and got dressed.

I had an appointment this morning at my new job to fill out a lot of paperwork, so that when I start, I’m all set up.

So – I have a lovely contusion (bruise doesn’t really cover it) on my left forearm, the beginnings of an even more spectacular bruise on my right shin (I was just glad I missed my knee), and a very bruised, possibly broken toe.  Not to mention the back pain.  I also have an appointment for 8:30 Monday morning w/ my magic chiropractor.

One of my first thoughts after falling was, “I wonder if I will still be able to run today.”

Answer: “No.”

Hopefully, though, I can still do my 50 mile ride tomorrow & my 8-11 mile run on Sunday.  I have a half marathon in 2 weeks, and a century ride in 3 weeks, and I really don’t want to have to drop out.  Obviously I will if I’m seriously injured, but I’m really not feeling too bad right now.  In fact, I went into work, anyways (I suck at calling in sick).

***

Happy things, though:  My new office at my new job is a real office.  Right now, I share a large cubicle in the middle of our department, with no door, and walls that are only 6 feet tall.  No privacy – and super loud.  Not only that, but our bathroom here is also the bathroom for 5 million children in the summer.  Imagine the fun of sharing a toilet with 5 million little girls for whom potty training is a new thing.

My new office – the one with the door AND the window – is shared with one other person.  AND we have our own bathroom.  For just the two of us!  And I feel very confident that her potty training skills way outstrip a 7-year-olds.

So – in 2 hours or so, I am going home and having a martini.  Happy Friday!

8 responses to “You know, I really hadn’t fallen in quite a while

  1. Oh my gosh that sucks. But it’s kinda funny to visualize. Why is people getting hurt kinda funny? I don’t know.

    I hope it doesn’t affect your race. 2 weeks, you say? My next half is on May 10th. Is that when yours is???

    Sharing a bathroom with only ONE other person is the most awesomest ever. But the other person will totally know who to blame (YOU) when you go poop at work. Yes, I jsut said POOP.

    Happy friday.

    • Right – like I would ever poop in my shared bathroom at work. ha ha ha ha. I can barely talk about it, much less have someone find out that I actually do poop.

      My half is May 10, as well. We’ll be running buddies (from afar) that day.

      I bet that the fall looked fucking awesome. I wish it had been taped – I bet it was very impressive.

  2. Hope your contusion gets better, and doesn’t get you off track with your training.

    Don’t be afraid of sock knitting! Once you get the hang of it, it’s very easy. Living in AZ, socks are just about all I will knit. 🙂

    • thank you for the sock encouragement. I will definitely put it on my list of things to try. I like your ankle socks – that seems not as scary.

  3. A real office!! Oh lucky you!!! I work in a cubicle, but it is one of the ‘coveted’ cubes, because two of my walls are actually REAL WALLS!

    That fall sounds supremely painful, but I’m glad to hear that you were able to get up after! Sucks to miss the run though!

    Oh, and btw I have SERIOUS public bathroom aversions, so if I worked where you did – with the 5 million little girls sharing your bathroom, I think I would just hold my pee all day… or squat outside. For real.

    • TWO REAL WALLS! It’s like Disney Land! Seriously – up until today, I would have died of jealousy.

      I hardly ever use our bathroom in the summer – there’s pee everywhere.

  4. oh my gosh, that is too funny! I mean, in a masochistic kind of way. I fall all the time but this one seems rather spectacular. And the fact that it kept beeping after all of that, so mockingly – it reminds me of the Friends episode where Phoebe throws her beeping alarm away and it still comes back to her. Hope the bruises aren’t too horrible – drink pineapple juice…it helps bruises go away faster!

    • It was incredibly spectacular – and it’s the only time in my life I’ve regretted not having a camera crew on hand.