Like many women (and men, too, probably), I didn’t always have the best relationship with my mother. The early 90s were especially heinous, if I remember correctly. We fought. We yelled. I was bitchy. She was bitchy. It’s hard to look back with any perspective. I remember her being uncaring and harsh. I’m sure she remembers something completely different.
For much of my teen years, I dreamed of leaving home, getting a job and an apartment and living on my own. Anything would be better than spending another minute under the same roof.
I didn’t, but I did move out almost immediately after high school graduation. A lot of that was due to the fact that my parents were moving in less than a month (to North Dakota) and I didn’t want to go with them – although for as much as I saw my high school friends that summer, I may as well have.
I moved in with a former student of my mother’s. The rent was cheap. That’s really the only positive thing I can say about my living situation.
The next few years were rocky – although definitely better than when we shared a roof. I still enjoy
ed pushing my mother’s buttons (and I think, although I’m not sure if she would ever admit to it, she might enjoy pushing my buttons a bit).
It’s really only been within the last three years or so that I’ve felt that our relationship has not only gained stability, but become something that I treasure. She’s the first person I want to call when I’m not feeling well. She’s become more than an archetypal conflict figure. She is my friend.
I received many accolades upon the completion of my 10K last week, but the one that I valued the most came in an email:
I am really proud and awe struck! How did I get such a motivated daughter? I wish I could have been there is see this achievement.
Love you lots,
I know that my parents have been proud of many of my achievements, but actually having the words in front of me – where they can’t be distorted by my imperfect memory is priceless.
I’m not good at remembering holidays, sending flowers or cards.
But I wanted everyone to know how much I love my mother.
Mom – I love you. Thank you for everything. I would not be who I am today without your constant support, love and guidance.