Monthly Archives: November 2006

Alllllllll By Myself

So, I have an evening of relative aloneness. I wanted to go to the Holiday Ale Festival, but was rebuffed by the fact that no one wants to go with me (and by no one, I mean, out of the three people I feel comfortable asking to go with me, I got these responses: 1) I’d love to go, but I have to work at 5:30 at my second job; 2) I’d love to go, but I promised my other friend that I’d go to a jewelry party; 3) I really don’t want to go – I’d rather go home and relax, but I won’t be home to do said relaxing until 8:30 or so).

I don’t want to go to a beer festival by myself, because that’s just pathetic, I think. But, I don’t want to go home all by myself, either. However, I do have an exciting phone conversation planned tonight (which yay!).

And I feel sad. And upset about feeling sad. Because it’s not like anyone said “I would never go to a beer festival with you because you smell funny” – everyone had fairly decent reasons (except for the one who’d rather be at home, but then is not actually planning on coming home anytime soon, but whatever).

I just wish I could feel a little cheer. Tomorrow, we are going on a little happy trip for the weekend (to a BB – with a claw foot bathtub…sigh…I don’t know what the architect will be doing all weekend, but I am planning on taking at least five baths).

Also, while I am fully cognizant of the fact that men & women do not communicate in the same way and that hints that are blatantly obvious to women make no sense to men, I wish there was a better way to communicate what I want without feeling demanding OR evasive. Also, I wish that I could be rewarded for direct communications (ex: “I would really like to do this thing”) by having the male party say, “Since you so clearly stated what you wanted, I will give it to you” – why isn’t it all about what I want?

PORN!!! (and spam)

Miu Miu Boot

They are pretty. Also, I like boots, and even though I have boots, I have a sneaking suspicion that I need more boots. I have planned a trip to the nearest DSW with my new friend Kim for one of these upcoming weekends.

As for the spam part – I have not been at a cheerful place lately. The not sleeping, and the killer PMS (which is not just pre-, so perhaps a better description would be P/MS) and the fact that it’s almost one o’clock and it’s still only 33 degrees, and the fact that I’ve 1) moved to an entirely new city where I know only the person I’m moving with (which was less traumatic the first time, when I was 22) 2) started a new job and 3) gotten married in the last few months have been stressful. I totally lost track of that sentence, so if the period wasn’t in the right place (and really, what’s new with that? That’s how I roll), I apologize.

Point. I am not cheerful. My brain is sad. perhaps even SAD. Last night, my brain was too sad for knitting, even. I have been trying to either a) mask or b) defeat (I’m not sure which) the sad by doing insane amounts of baking, but even after consuming more brownies than was necessary last night, I didn’t feel better. Probably because I remembered that I don’t so much like the chocolate, once the P/MS is over. That did not, however, keep me from eating a brownie today at work. (What? I brought most of them to work to share, is it so wrong that I had one two myself? Most were shared.)

That brings me to the spam point (I know – but trust me, it could have been longer). I have been getting an inordinate amount of spam lately – mostly in the form of “undeliverable mail” thingies – they look like legitimate “your mail was unable to be delivered from mailer daemon” whatever, but it’s not! And over the weekend, I got 47 of these! So, imagine my sadness when I checked my mail just now and had five new messages, each with the subject line “failure.”

Which is pretty much how I feel about everything, so thank you spambots for confirming my worst fears. I feel so much better now.

Umm…so anyways…shoes! Are pretty! Oooooh…look at the pretty shoes and ignore the crazy lady.

Walking’ in a Winter Wonderland

(and the weekend in review – since I was too giddy yesterday)

Snow! It is so pretty. See:

It has been brought to my attention that some people do not enjoy snow. Formerly, I was a snow hater. Snow meant months and months of cold and misery and cars that won’t start and windshields that must be scraped and having to call other people for rides to the bar because it’s far too cold to walk the five blocks and your car buried in a snowdrift.

In fact, one of the big reasons I chose Los Angeles was the absence of snow. I traveled there the spring before I moved (with my very dear friend Marcy and six other people) to check it out, and while we were there, in March, it not only didn’t snow, it was also warm enough for us to swim in the hotel pool. There is no way in hell you would get me into an outdoor pool in March now, even in Los Angeles, but it was a lovely experience then – especially the parts where the weather channel kept talking about the big snowstorm ravaging South Dakota.

So – I am with the anti-snow crowd. But – I think I have found the answer. Portland snow is pretty. And it doesn’t last long. And, typically, it only happens once or twice a year – which is about the perfect amount of time to have snow. Once or twice a year. Because then I can squeal “pretty!” but never ever have to bitch about shoveling. So – how can that be bad? It’s basically just decorative.

So – on to the weekend.

Friday was a blah day. Didn’t get much done. Went home (no date night!). Saturday, I had a volunteer interview at the library, and it’s settled. I am now an official library volunteer. Which is cool. I get to play with books every day.

Saturday night, the architect and I went to a Barenaked Ladies concert. I had a blast. We had awesome seats, courtesy of our very cool friends Sue & Alan. If I knew how to get pics off the architect’s camera phone, I would totally share.

The worst thing about the concert (other than the fact that the architect is not so much into the Barenaked Ladies) was the large number of drunken people. I will be the first to admit that last time I saw them in concert, I was not what one might consider sober (and if you did consider me sober, you definitely might want to look into rehab, Lindsey Lohan). Much beer was consumed, and many other things were smoked. The Proclaimers opened, and that was awesome, and I’m sure they played many good songs, but the whole memory is rather…hazy.

Saturday night, there was no hazy. There were two beers. It was fun. The family in front of me wasn’t so fun. The parents, in their mid-late thirties, brought their kids. A 14-year old (which, fine, 14, whatever) and a five year old. The small one was not having fun. Fortunately for him, his parents were plastered and having enough fun for twenty 5-year olds. The poor kid was so tired and wanted to sit on the chair. The dad kept picking him up and whacking him into other concert goers. I just felt bad for the poor kids, even though his parents had thoughtfully provided him with earplugs. So, people, if you’re going to take your infant to a bar, fine (as long as it’s a non-smoking bar and it’s dinner time, not midnight), and if you’re going to take your kindergartener to a concert fine (as long as it’s the Wiggles or something in the middle of the day, or you’re not getting completely blitzed!) – not that I have issues.

I remarked to my mother that it was weird being the person annoyed with the young drunk girls instead of the annoying drunk girl, but I don’t think she was as impressed with my growth and maturity as I was.

Sunday, we went to an open house. We’d intended to go to more than one, but only one on the list was actually…open. The house was so terrific. Except for the lack of closets, a dining room, and a garage. But other than that, perfect. (It had a laundry chute from the [single] bathroom to the basement laundry area!) There were hardwoods and an organic garden and a twee little breakfast nook and an enormous fireplace. It was lovely. But tiny cute perfections do not, apparently, balance four huge problems. And I know that the lack of closets would drive me insane. I know it’s true. But it was so pretty! Perhaps if it had been at the bottom of our price range instead of the top of our price range, things would have seemed better.

The other new exciting thing is that I have health insurance starting this Friday. WOOT! And, because I am all prepared and stuff, I also have an appointment to see a naturopathic doctor (the best of both worlds, and I have little faith left in the western methodologies, but, because of the number of times the doctor has said “pre-cancerous growth” following a biopsy, I have decided not to completely abandon the western ways). So, currently I am believing that the naturopathic doctor will cure everything. Endometriosis & dysmenorrhea? cured. Cervical dysplasia with pre-cancerous growths? gone. Fairly mild mental instability? Taken care of. That weird pinched nerve thing in my lower back? Fixed. Random bouts of insomnia? (hee – the first time I typed insomnia, I wrote insanity – maybe I’m delusional about the mild mental instability, and my slip is trying to tell me something – like who wears slips with pants?) All better. Inability to lose even one ounce of weight even though I eat between 1200 & 1500 calories a day, run races, and exercise and cut way back on the alcohol and other empty-calorie beverages? Well, I do draw the hope-line somewhere – so maybe she’ll just recommend a good liposuction-ologist or something.

Anyways, I am excited to go to the doctor where all my ills will be cured.

Tuesday’s Child is Full of Grace

so it’s really too damn bad that I was born on a Thursday (which means far to go…mentally? emotionally? physically? gracefully?).

That is all.

It’s Snowing!

I can’t remember the last time I was snowed on (which is not completely true – it was the last time I went back to South Dakota for Christmas and I drove to Pierre to visit my friends Steph & Sara – but I can’t remember the last time I was snowed on when I knew that below zero temps and blizzard-like conditions were not likely to follow). I went and stood outside for a couple of minutes so that I could completely experience the joy.

YAY! for snow.